MANW: April Month-End Recap

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This month was unusual on multiple levels. For starters, I went on a writer’s retreat to catch a break, and I decided to pledge for CampNaNoWriMo. Then, life happened and all the things I didn’t plan for that were above and beyond the norm. Travel. 99+ Notifications. Emotional upheaval. Problem-solving. Friends and family. And then, the little things started to slip, because deadlines don’t stop for anybody. I did make art, and I had a lot of fun painting, lettering, and diving into my original stories. It remained a priority for me, but I wound up making up for lost time. This, to me, was a sign that Make Art Not War was working, because I treated it like a commitment that I couldn’t ignore.

Now, on the other side of this, I just want to make art and get myself sorted. In May, I am taking a break from Facebook and Twitter. Work-related announcements and posts will still go live, but I’m not and can’t check in for personal use. I really need the silence right now, and am looking forward to diving into the pile.

With that in mind, here’s how I did:

My Make Art Not War 2017 Challenge pledge:

  • I pledge to devote one hour a day to my original art.
  • If I don’t feel motivated, I pledge to write down the reasons why I wanted to take this challenge for fifteen minutes or one-to-three pages whichever comes first.
  • I pledge to mark down on the calendar whenever I complete a day’s efforts.
  • As the challenge creator, I pledge to create a weekly accountability post every Wednesday beginning on January 9th. Comments will be open. Hashtag #makeartnotwar2017 #manw2017
  • I pledge to check into social media twice a week for personal use, and once a month with my local community of artists and writers.

April 2017 Challenge Recap

  • Due to unforeseen events, making art every day was a challenge. I did add extra hours on a couple of Saturdays, but there were a few points when I didn’t feel like making art at all.
  • Motivation was a problem for part of this month. I was willing, but that wasn’t enough to close the loop between “Here’s an idea!” and “Here’s all this shit going on!” So, I treated myself to one or two days off where I did nothing but play Pokemon Go and wander around. Following those short breaks, that drastically helped my motivation. Self-care is crucial to
  • Tracking didn’t happen. In fact, I’m realizing this is the first thing to go.
  • Social media time wasn’t managed, but I don’t feel that impacted my motivation or my mood. Monitoring it was a distraction, tapped into my need to remain informed, and an emotional release when the ending was in sight.

I did feel another shift when I started working out more, and that helped to turn things around as well. I don’t feel this month was a loss, and I do think I did just about as well as I could have.

SPEED Theme Recap

April’s theme was SPEED. As an optional theme, I thought this was fun when I needed a boost. Where the theme didn’t work, however, is when I was unfocused or didn’t have a clear image of what I was making in my mind. The increased rates of production worked out great for me when I knew what I was doing, and I feel this is something to keep in mind for the future. While word sprints can help get past writer’s block, the main issue with them is that, for me, a clear lack of direction results in wasted words.

That’s it for April. May starts tomorrow, and I’ll reveal the new theme then. Thanks for reading!



April 30, 2017
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MANW Week 17: A Reminder to Be Gentle

Gentle is a word that is often misassociated with weakness and with hyper-femininity. Only, gentle is a word that should hold great importance, but is often overlooked because it is viewed to be antithetical to strength. Gentle is the word I need when I cannot muster up the will to make art, when I don’t make a deadline, when life throws me a curveball and I feel like I’ve messed up. Gentle relates to healing, relaxation, soothing waters, and gentle breezes. And yet, often it’s dismissed out of hand and painted as laughable or inconsequential or full of childlike naivete.

I learned to be someone who downplayed the need for gentleness, and had to unlearn it. Yes, some of that is due to the echoes of a past that grow quieter with each passing year. But, some of that is also because I’ve trained myself to handle failure by being pragmatic to avoid succumbing to my emotions. Then, April happened. I set achievable goals, traveled, painted, wrote, and blew up the internet. What I didn’t (and could not) prepare for, was the toll this situation took on my psyche and general well-being. I did, absolutely, miss a few things and I still feel terrible that happened. I asked myself why I allowed myself to slip up; didn’t I know any better; hadn’t I been through far worse. All the while, pushing myself harder to get back on my feet and into a regular routine.

In the process of cleaning up my proverbial mess, I did three things that were outside of my normal routine: I did not engage in retail therapy, I used my Make Art Not War 2017 time to critique/sub original short stories again, and I started walking regularly again. By doing so, I naturally stopped chiding myself because those small movements represented progress and gave me something to look forward to. Gentleness, in other words, led to another emotion I’m not used to having: hope. Mind you, I couldn’t have picked myself up without knowing there were supportive people out there well beyond the friends and peers I already knew. But, lesson learned. I realized that the ability to fall, to be gentle with yourself after you go through something awful, is not something we’re taught to handle well as artists. It is, however, part of learning how to be resilient. Even so, there’s a certain amount of privilege that comes from knowing and having the ability to fall within a safe space. A lack of safety net or support system dramatically impacts your psyche–especially if there’s financial concerns involved.

When I designed Make Art Not War 2017, I didn’t think about safety nets because I have a small, but stable one and it never occurred to me that it’d be needed. I had been working on rebuilding my local community with varying degrees of success, and I felt anything I could provide would not be helpful since my footprint can’t reach into your backyard. Instead, I focused my efforts on a program that could help empower and motivate you to produce more art despite all the distractions in the world today. Making art does require time, consistency, and persistence, and I was very conscious of that this month.

In the past, I’ve often said that success is something you have to determine for yourself. Now, I realize that some failures are the same way. Sometimes, you have to be the one to figure out what a setback means for your art or your career–because you’re the only one who can determine what happens next. Do you get back on the proverbial horse and make more art? Do you double down when faced with criticism only to later recognize you made a mistake? Do you need to take a quick break to give yourself relief before diving back into the pile? To address the hardest questions of all, I feel that gentleness is required. At the end of the day, you are human and you will fail from time to time. Failure is natural. It’s what you do with that failure that defines you.

Sometimes, to pick yourself back up a little gentleness is what’s needed the most, and I hope that you will never forget that self-care isn’t something to overlook. It’s what I needed this month, and I hope this post serves both as a reminder and inspiration for you to be kind to yourself as well. Be well.

    Mood: Thar be dragons
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Half as much as the day before, but not nearly enough as today
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Another hour’s worth of walking.
    In My Ears: Dragon Age: Inquisition soundtrack
    Game Last Played: Pokemon GO. Review forthcoming. Post gym. No, not “a” gym, a Pokemon gym.
    Book Last Read: Aurora by Kim Stanley Robinson
    Movie/TV Show Last Viewed: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
    Latest Artistic Project: Make Art Not War 2017 Challenge and Rules
    Latest Releases: In Volo’s Wake for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Unknown Armies Books 1-3, and Kobold Guide to Gamemastering. Read my end-of-the-year list of releases for an overview of what I’ve put out for 2016.
    Current State of Projects: Read my latest project update. New project update coming, uh… when I get caught up.



April 26, 2017
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There’s No One True Path For Artists

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In place of today’s Make Art Not War 2017 check-in, I wanted to talk about something I’ve seen pop up recently among new writers. It’s about the idea that if you don’t get a prestigious opportunity you’ll never make it.

When you’re just starting out, you are full of enthusiasm and passion. Maybe you’re a writer or an artist or a musician. You’re doing your thing, grooving along, but making art isn’t enough for you. You want to do more, so you do some research and talk to your friends. Maybe you find a mentor, or maybe you model your next steps after someone who’s already made it. You go to school, audition, apply, set up shop, enter a contest.

Failure isn’t an option, because you’ve internalized that the path you’ve chosen is the only way to get what you want. It’s the most prestigious contest, school, publication, venue, or internship but, while you know you’re up against stiff competition, you are shocked to learn you’ve been rejected. Now, you’re crushed. You will never be a professional artist. You’ve failed. That was the one path, the only option, and now you’re totally screwed.

I cannot tell you how incredibly damaging this mentality is to you and your inner artist. There is no one true path, because there are literally thousands of ways to be an artist, sell your work, and connect with an audience. Besides that, there are hundreds of things outside of your control. Sometimes, for example, you could take all the “right” steps and wind up with a crappy editor or a book launch that happens to coincide with a natural disaster or glaring headline. Other times, your venue could have awful acoustics and your mic could go out (1) and yet the show must go on.

Hanging your entire career as an artist on one path or one opportunity is all but guaranteed to crush you. Maybe not the first time, but what about the second? Or the third? Making art is what lays the foundation for being a professional artist, but having a career isn’t that cut and dry. You will have success, you will have failure, and you will have varying degrees of both. No doubt, you’ll learn this as you continue to build your career and have a life, because the unexpected can turn you sideways. You crash your car, watch a friend die, get pregnant, are laid off from your day job.

The bad things that happen to you are normal. They can happen to anyone, and they are not a sign of your failure. There are so many things that make up the story of a life, and there’s no possible way to predict everything that can and will happen to you. This, dear reader, is why I feel learning how to be resilient is more important than pinning all your hopes and dreams on one action. People who aren’t, who have internalized the lie that success is granted via a linear, uphill climb, tend to look down on other artists who haven’t made “it” in their minds.

To be an artist is to walk your unique path. It may not be exactly the same as anyone else’s, but it is yours. Sometimes, you’ll get stuck at a crossroads or you’ll trip and fall. Sometimes, you’ll go really, really fast and the wind will be at your back. Enjoy it. This is your journey.

(1) Mic problems? This has happened to me more times than I can count.



April 19, 2017
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MANW Week 15: Art is My Inch

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I wasn’t sure I was going to do today’s check-in, because yesterday’s announcement and the fall out from that has been overwhelming. I feel everything, ranging from anger to utter shock to guilt, and in the midst of all that I still have to get work down. Unfortunately, that’s been slow at best.

For those of you who aren’t aware, Make Art Not War 2017 is a challenge I cooked up to kick off the new year. It was a way to help both me (and, hopefully you) retain a focus on art despite everything else that’s going on. That, unfortunately, has turned out to be harder than I thought when I have to perform emotional labor. There are days, like today, where I feel I can’t express all of my conflicting emotions. Part of that, is because as a professional I do perform emotional labor. The other bit, though, is that I don’t know how to describe it. I knew yesterday was bad, when I was at sushi therapy (my words for delicious sushi) and an elderly gentlemen walked toward me with his face lit up to tell me how beautiful I was. I didn’t feel beautiful. I just felt very small.

But then, as I was wandering off to a Pokestop, I remembered something. It was a powerful scene from the movie V for Vendetta based on Alan Moore’s work. I remember Valerie writing about the inch no one else can take, her story filled with hope, love, despair, and gut-wrenching tragedy. She says: “An inch… it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.”

I realized what Valerie’s inch is for me. That inch is the art I make for you and for myself, because no one can take that away. No one. All the worries about dying in obscurity or a lack of discovery pale in comparison to the horror, the terror that comes from not making art. I don’t know if I’ll be wildly successful, and I can’t plan for that. I can only plan for a possible future, and then adjust based on what actually happens. The way to get there, though, is to take an inch. Every, damn day. Every chance I get. One, beautiful inch at a time.



April 12, 2017
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MANW Check-In Week 14: Making Room for Art

Today’s check-in is brief; my head’s been down and I’ve been focused on words, words, art, and more words. I’d like to briefly discuss what it means to make room for art, and how a simple trick to reprogram your brain can help you get the words down, the sketches out, or the stitches stitched. Often, we feel guilty making art because it feels as if it’s not important. It’s not work, it’s not going to make us any money, it’s playtime. These toxic attitudes toward our art affect our mindset and sink into our subconscious, so when we go to make art it can feel like it’s a “big deal” or a major event.

The value of making art can’t often be seen or felt until we actually do the work, however, which means that we have a tendency to say “No, I can’t.” before we do it because we are operating off bad assumptions. It won’t be worth making a bracelet, because it’s just for you. It won’t be worth writing that story, because no one will read it. Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. These premises, when coupled with the time required to sit down and make art, combine to form a barrier that actively works against our inner artist. Then, when we do make art, we feel guilty about it. We feel as if we shouldn’t have been making art in the first place.

To get past that roadblock, sometimes the best way to do that is to not think about the value after you make art or the time required. Instead, focus on where you do something small to make art by re-prioritizing your efforts to put your art (and yourself) first. For example, if you’re having a hard time writing a novel, then perhaps your priority isn’t placed on finishing one. What happens when you do make it a priority? Suddenly, everything shifts. You might spend your days doing the same thing you’ve always done, but instead you’re actively looking for ways to carve out ten, fifteen, twenty minutes at a time to chip away at your story.

I hope you’re continuing to make art and you’re having fun this week! Spring seems to have arrived with a lot of sunshine, some rain, and many flowers. Finally, eh?

    Mood: There is nothing but words
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: 2. And I, um, went through withdrawal.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Walking!
    In My Ears: Air conditioner
    Game Last Played: Pokemon GO
    Book Last Read: Aurora by Kim Stanley Robinson
    Movie/TV Show Last Viewed: The 10th Kingdom
    Latest Artistic Project: Make Art Not War 2017 Challenge and Rules
    Latest Releases: In Volo’s Wake for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition and Unknown Armies Books 1-3. Read my end-of-the-year list of releases for an overview of what I’ve put out for 2016.
    Current State of Projects: Read my latest project update. New project update coming this month!



April 6, 2017
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