[Guest Post] 3 Ways to Find Your Groove: The Introverts Guide to Getting Back Out There

written by Jason Sizemore

Before I dive into the meat of this essay, I wish to thank Monica Valentinelli for the platform to share my thoughts. Monica is a total OG. She has appeared numerous times in my Hugo Award-winning online publication Apex Magazine. We are currently running a Kickstarter to help fund our 2023. If you’d like to check out the zine, I recommend reading Monica’s “101 Softly-Delivered Writing Lessons” she wrote for our FOR WRITERS series, but much of the advice there is useful Life Advice stuff.

Since March 2020, the United States has been in the iron grip of COVID-19. In hopes of curtailing the spread of the virus and to protect others, we have lived with quarantines, masking, and a million Zoom meetings. Only recently have the restrictions been relaxed, meaning that those without high-risk health conditions and following appropriate safety protocols can once more participate fully in society. Great news for most, but stressful news for introverts like myself. What if we had grown comfortable hiding our insecurities and fears behind N95 masks and work teleconferences? So, as we venture forth, I’d like to share three strategies I used to help pull myself out of my cave and learned to be social again.

The Loneliest Time

In February 2019, I had a lesion removed from my jaw that resulted in partial facial paralysis, loss of sensation, and the complete replacement of my mandible with three sections from my left fibula. It took six months for me to recover. During that time, I saw very few people beyond my wife and kids. Around the time 2019 clicked over to 2020, I was making my first tentative steps back into the world. Then COVID-19 happened and suddenly it was back indoors for me.

My first big adventure post-surgery and post-pandemic was DisCon III in Washington, DC (December, 2021). I was determined to attend, but my anxiety was overwhelming. I’d not been in a social situation with people outside my family in nearly three years. The fear was real. But this introvert, ironically, needed his friends and acquaintances. I was bored to tears at home and was quickly losing motivation.
Determined not to let my anxiety take away my opportunity to attend DisCon III, I purposely did three things. These worked for me, and your mileage may vary, but I share them in hopes that they might prove helpful to someone else struggling with getting back out there.

Have Support Ready

Prior to the convention, I shared my situation with a good friend who would also be in attendance. I didn’t need or want a nurse or psychiatrist on hand to save me a from a panic attack. What I sought was having someone in the crowd who recognized that the reason I may not be wholly participating in a group conversation or excited to join a large dinner party was due to social anxiety.

This friend would act as an advocate in a situation where I was being pressured into doing something I was not able to handle. Even with a group as notoriously skittish and introverted as writers, people are caught in the moment and enthusiasm of group activities and want to share the joy with all their friends. This enthusiasm can cause stress and guilt unwittingly and make matters worse. Your friend will interject with something like, “Hey, that’s okay if you don’t go. Maybe catch up with us tonight when we return?” This, most of the time, will diffuse the pressure and redirect the group’s enthusiasm.

Be Kind, Unwind

I’ll preface this recommendation with an acknowledgment that it can be dependent on your personal finances and room availability. Save and plan as needed.

One of my favorite conventions is Gen Con. It is packed with sweaty, tired gamers who love the same things I do. The problem is that it is expensive, so I would stay at a friend’s house who lived in the same city as the event to save money.

Saving money is a wonderful thing. But this left me with nowhere to dash to when I absolutely needed away from the throngs of people. By the end of the four-day event, my nerves were a shredded mess and I found myself like a little kid begging to go home.

At DisCon, I made sure to get a room within walking distance. I could go crash when I needed. I had a place where I could recharge my batteries. It was wonderful and helped make the convention a great experience.

Make Yourself Accountable

This will certainly be the most difficult of my three suggestions to do, but I find accountability as an effective tool to combat that part of my brain that says “Meh, you would be happier in bed reading.” Reading in bed is, indeed, a wonderful thing. But it isn’t what your mental state needs after months of being anti-social.

To make sure I left my hotel room every morning, I planned breakfast/lunch with long-distance friends every day prior to the event. I also made sure I had to participate in some form as the publisher of Apex Magazine by running a dealer’s table in the vendor hall. The dealer’s table required that I have staff/volunteers to help out, so I was accountable to not only friends, but also to those people who were helping me out. Having accountability to folks you care about really cranks the motivation factor up.

Remember, You’re the One With All the Expectations

I hope these three recommendations are helpful. At the very least, they should have you thinking about coping strategies for getting back out in the world.

Set realistic goals. Start small if you need to. We all deal with these things at a different pace and have different mental needs. Don’t be afraid to aggressively pursue what you need to make yourself feel comfortable. Because you have friends who are looking forward to seeing you.

Would you like to help Jason relieve some of his anxiety? The best way to do so right now is to back the Apex Magazine 2023 Kickstarter. The project is funded and currently fulfilling stretch and backer goals! Backer rewards include Kickstarter exclusive fiction, more content for the zine, and increasing writer pay.

About the Author: Jason Sizemore is the owner and lead editor of Apex Books and Apex Magazine. He currently lives in Lexington, KY where he leads a failing campaign to convince the locals that science fiction is far more fun than horse racing.

[New Release] Dead Man’s Rust 5th Edition

Scarred Lands: Dead Man's Rust Cover Art

Hello, dear readers!

Today I’m excited to celebrate the release of Dead Man’s Rust. It’s a Scarred Lands campaign, set in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world, that’s compatible with 5th edition. Developed by Travis Legge, I’m one of many contributors who wrote for this campaign book packed with narrative value.

“Welcome to a broken world, a place where mortals try to eke out a simple existence within these Scarred Lands. Not long ago, the gods and titans clashed in a war that ripped the earth asunder. Now, the titans lie defeated and the divine victors have retreated to the celestial realms, leaving their mortal followers to settle disputes among one another. This is not a peaceful time — far from it. Belief is not as simple as it once was when the gods regularly walked the lands, and nations eye one another’s resources as they embroil themselves in wars and conquest in the wake of the Titanswar.

However, there is still some brightness in Scarn. There is hope of rebuilding a world where all people can live together in peace. Within the Broadreach Horizon, bucolic villages come together in solidarity; within Leoni, people of all creeds celebrate under one banner. However, there is also fear that the world will fall into greater darkness. The question is, how will your heroes influence what comes next?” — Dead Man’s Rust: Introduction, pg. 6

Keen on picking up a copy of a detailed campaign book filled with sidequests, lore, loot, and so much more? Head on over to DriveThruRPG.com where you’ll find the Scarred Lands Player’s Guide and Scarred Lands: Dead Man’s Rust in both digital or print.

If you’re brand new to the Scarred Lands, I also recommend checking out these 5th Edition-compatible adventures.

    Gauntlet of Spiragos – You can download the introductory adventure for free and learn all about titanspawn artifacts and the creatures drawn to them.

    Eyes of Spiragos – I designed this Slarecian Vault adventure and Travis helped lay it out. The story fits neatly in the timeline and strengthens connections to the remaining adventures.

    Dagger of Spiragos – The players have retrieved two titanspawn relics—the dagger and ring of Spiragos—and are tasked with destroying them. I developed and contributed to this adventure but, like all my games, I’m part of a team.

    Ring of Spiragos – On this team, I also developed and contributed to this adventure. It’s the grand finale filled with gut-wrenching decisions and jaw-dropping scenes.

The Spiragos adventures are themed around the recovery and destruction of accursed titanspawn artifacts. Be prepared to fight off cultists, thieves, and more!



Designing Tension in Cyberpunk RED

Tales of the RED: Street Stories Cover Art

Heya choombas!

Wanted to share that my Cyberpunk RED adventures are titled “Bathed in RED” and “One RED Night.” While their stories can be told separately, I wrote them as two distinct parts of a larger narrative included in Tales of the RED: Street Stories.

One of the reasons why I wanted to write for Cyberpunk RED, is because I was keen on exploring narrative tension in Night City as you moved from scene to scene. My approach to introducing that tension is through the introduction of hard choices to shape your story and advance the plot. If you were reading a novel or comic book, those choices would be made by the protagonists. In a game, however, you are the protagonists actively contributing to the narrative fulfilling your own motivations and your group’s goals. Ultimately, it’s not my decision what happens next. It’s yours. My job is to present those gut-wrenching decisions that help you feel vested in the game.

I love presenting difficult choices, because they’re a great way to add depth to your story. To make them emotionally-compelling, I took the project’s guidelines to heart and made these choices personal. Smart technology, cool locations, even corporations aren’t enough of a story hook. They’re just props to interact with and cool set designs. What makes a story personal, are the characters you interact with during the game. In Cyberpunk RED, there are compelling challenges like that computer virus designed to wipe out your data. What I consider is who designed that virus and why they’re targeting you. Same thing with corporations, too. After all, a “greedy conglomerate” isn’t as interesting as a CEO who decides to cut your salary to give themselves a bigger bonus.

Characters also give you ways to interact with the story, learn more about the setting, and provide clues. That said, I didn’t design them according to their plot delivery function, because that wasn’t interesting enough to me. Instead, I prioritized “who” they were and “where” they were from before I worried about the plot. This approach allowed me to revel in what I enjoy writing—worldbuilding and characterization—even though I had some rules already in mind.

Though I had the basic idea for a mystery plot in the outline phase, I didn’t figure out the specifics right away. My breakthrough happened after I finished my first draft of both adventures. Oh, I remember that eureka moment very, very clearly—and not only because I had a wonderful Ah-hah! feeling. I was having so much fun writing in Night City, every character and cinematic scene I imagined flowed together as if I was watching a movie. I could even imagine this exact plot in a video game. That visualization is the moment I knew this story was cohesive and filled with jaw-dropping moments.

I’m extremely lucky to write for Cyberpunk RED, because Tales of the RED: Street Stories allowed me to explore new-and-existing aspects of Night City and its people. That said, this two-part story scales more toward cyberpunk thriller with horror elements than a straight-up adventure.

If you’re keen on learning more about game design so you can write your own adventures, I encourage you to sign up for my upcoming campaign planning class.

Thank you for listening!

[New Releases] Article, Cyberpunk RED supplement, and Class for GMs!

Tales of the RED: Street Stories Cover Art

Hello, hello!

Huge update today, so let me dive right in to a fancy-pants bulleted list. That’s right, dear reader. You get FIVE FANTASTIC THINGS.

  1. Thank You! Rickshaw Bags is awesome. I ordered some masks and was surprised with a quality pen case as a free gift. Now my pen stays warm and I’m less likely to lose it. Oh.
  2. Crunch is Cancelled. Crunch should be part of the discussion when we’re talking about the future of work. I write about crunch for Talenthouse’s Media Foundry.
  3. Ia! Ia! Okay, do you want a fun distraction? Think NeoPets but 8-bit Cthulhu Virtual. Cthulhu Pets 2 is out now!
  4. Sharpen your Campaigns. I’m teaching DMs how to plan a tabletop game on Saturday, August 20th. Scholarships and sign-ups are available through Academy Rambo! Yaaaay!
  5. Is your Cyberpunk RED? R Talsorian Games has posted a series of previews for Tales of the RED: Night City Stories. Read my Tales of the RED Twitter thread for previews!

Tales of the RED: Night City Stories is out in the world! You can get a copy from your friendly local game store or you can pick up a digital edition from DriveThruRPG.com.



On Refilling Your Creative Well

Cat in a Bucket

Our metaphorical well of creativity contains all we need to make art: inspiration, motivation, ideas. It’s a repository of our so-called creative juices that we draw upon until we can’t anymore for a variety of reasons. When we can’t create anymore, we get tired, burnt out, exhausted and look for ways to “refill the well”.

An empty well, then, implies that we don’t have any creative mojo left. We are all tapped out. I disagree with this metaphor, because I believe burnout doesn’t just happen from running out of creativity. It can also occur when there are obstacles in our path barring us from accessing the well. That distance, that inability to tap into a fundamental part of who we are, creates blockages that lead to exhaustion, even bitterness.

If you’re not creating, the very first question to ask and answer is: “Why?” Knowing why you aren’t creating is an important step. Here are some common reasons why burn out happens.

“I’m stressed out.”

“I don’t have time.”

“I don’t see the point.”

“I’m tired of getting rejected.”

“I’m tired of being underpaid and overworked.”

Let’s start with the first one. “I’m stressed out.” Stress, whether that’s due to pandemic fatigue or not, is an added burden. It may seem counterintuitive, but self-care can be a great path to creativity. Acknowledging, naming, even describing your stressors can help validate your feelings so you can deal with it. Sometimes, it might be as simple as taking a break from social media or falling into a beloved book to give you some relief.

Self-care can also be something small and free or inexpensive. If you “hit a wall”, you might get some fresh air, listen to your favorite song, text a friend, share a joke, etc. Twenty-minute naps, free writes, or meditations are also great!

Sometimes, I go to bed early when I hit that wall. Right before I drift off to sleep, I ask a question about my creative project. More than once, I wound up dreaming about the work and my subconscious figured out a path by the time I woke up.

My goal, here, is not to say you should eliminate all stress because that’s not realistic. Being a human in 2022 is incredibly stressful! I am suggesting that by acknowledging it, caring for ourselves, and getting a little distance from it you might find a wonderful path to draw on your creativity once more.

Walking through another example… Let’s tackle: “I don’t have the time.”

I’m nodding along with you, because time is a precious commodity and a resource. No question about it. You do not have the time. So, to get creative you’d need to find it. That bit, finding the time, is a process that sucks. Either, you have to give up something or you have to sneak working on your goal in a few minutes here and there. It can, in many ways, feel like a punishment rather than a necessary part of decision-making.

My suggestion, here, is not to start by analyzing your time or doing yet-another-deep-dive into what you are or aren’t doing. You are doing PLENTY! Instead, try to change your schedule/routine before adding anything else—including creative time—to your plate if you can.

The other thing about not being able to find time, is that sometimes this is code for “What’s the point?” or “I don’t know where to start.” Or, sometimes even more insidiously, imposter syndrome kicks in and we defeat ourselves before we start. “Why should I create? Who’d care? Why bother?” Only you know if that’s the case and “not being able to find the time” is a way to rationalize the real reason you aren’t creating.

Of course, I can’t tell you how to ask and answer your specific questions, because you know yourself best. I also don’t know your “what”. What motivates you? Is it a person? A goal? A reward? What? Knowing that can be incredibly helpful, because it gives you something to aspire to or hope for.

If your answer is “I don’t know what motivates me,” try journalling or creating a vision board to find that out. You might discover that the reason why you’ve lost your motivation is because you, as a creator, have changed and you need new sources of inspiration you haven’t sought out or used regularly in the past.

Asking yourself questions and finding answers is one technique you can use to be creative again, because it defines, acknowledges, and validates how you’re feeling by giving you a path forward. Sometimes, however, the path forward isn’t “the future”. When you literally can’t plan, you might consider revisiting the past, remembering what you loved, how you used to play, what your happiest moments were.

The last thing I want to say about refilling your well, is that if these paths and techniques sound like a lot of work? Then they are too much for you right now. I can’t stress enough how fresh perspectives don’t typically come from analyzing or following the same path over and over again. Sometimes, you do have to shake things up—which is MUCH harder to do right now—to clear a path.

My solution to refilling my creative well has been to use “one small thing” for my goals. What can I do right now, in this moment? What small, precious thing can I do? Those small things might include: a hundred words, a scene, a chapter, reading a chapter, writing a prompt, writing a pitch, etc. Then, I log that information in a journal. Over time, “one small thing” becomes visible for me, a journey that becomes more evident with each passing day.

I hope, after reading this post, you feel encouraged to find solutions for your creativity blocks. What you’re experiencing is going to be different from me, and I recognize and acknowledge that neurodiversity and your health absolutely factor into this conversation. If you need additional encouragement, however, let me say this: I believe in you. I really, really do! You can find your mojo again. Or maybe, it will find you.

If you are able to create right now, could you please do me a favor? Comment on this post or blog about how you’ve kept creating during the pandemic. Every little bit helps right now, and you never know…someone might stumble across your post/newsletter/update and read exactly what they needed to. Thank you!




Looking for Monica’s books and games that are still in print? Visit Monica Valentinelli on Amazon’s Author Central or a bookstore near you.

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