When You Can’t Get No Satisfaction

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John Adamus wrote a post today about The Writer and Fairness, in which he mentions how a lot of writers aren’t content because they’re not treated fairly, and why that shouldn’t be an issue.

I agree for the most part but, in my experiences, the issue of being treated fairly is often made complicated whenever finances or marketing of oneself, others, or a product (e.g. books) is involved. Additionally, it is absolutely true that sexism, racism, and all those other -isms exist. Sometimes, an author gets slighted (or receives unjust praise) not because the work is (or is not of) superior quality, but because the publishing industry, self-published or not, is run by people. Not robots, not hamsters on a wheel, or cultists — but mercurial human beings with all manner of beliefs and personalities.

Though it will increase your chances, I do not believe your success solely relies on writing the best story possible. Success is not achievable unless you define what “success” means. I feel you absolutely need to determine its parameters in order to be truly happy, manage expectations, and achieve your goals. Not everyone wants the same things. Again, this is another reason why people get extraordinarily nutty on occasion — peer at your creative works through the eyes of anyone else, and you will see a distorted image. We do this (I’ve done it once or twice) because honest feedback is rare even in an internet age. Occasionally, we seek guidance to know we’re headed in the right direction, even when you’re the only person who understands where you’re going and how you’re going to get there.

When you hear something positive about the work you’re doing, it can be very encouraging. But when it’s not? Or when it’s fake or what have you? I think you know what happens when negativity hurts, because you’ve seen the result of that. You’ve seen “author bad behavior” where they go off on fans. You’ve heard about writers attacking other writers. This has happened before and it will happen again. Either way, positive or negative, those comments shouldn’t stop you from the act of creation. That, my readers, all circles back to you. This is where I feel the test of a truly contented artist lies: that you will go on, in spite of all the bullshit, because you are an artist, painter, sculptor, writer, etc. and you will not let anyone or anything get between you and your creative works.

Whenever I’m dealing with major dissatisfaction, I ask myself a few questions to hone in on the real problem. For smaller annoyances, I either rant or make a sarcastic comment or play a game or dive into a new project or whatever — and then I move forward as quickly as possible. Sometimes, I get stuck and I have to work through a tough decision about cutting personnel or severing ties with a publisher, etc. Other times, I require focus. e.g. Not be online. In the end, the work has to come first for me – which is where these queries come from.

1) What did I expect to get out of the situation in the first place? – If the answer is: I did this as a favor, took a lower rate, or let a lot of mistreatment go without saying anything, etc. etc. etc. Then, clearly, I should not expect to be treated well in return, because I did not put my own considerations first in a reasonable and healthy way. By taking too many shortcuts and one too many niceties, I’m basically sending out an unconscious message that I’m too accommodating or that I don’t care about myself or my work. Ergo: I’m supporting an illusion that I’m a doormat. Instead, the solution here is to remind myself of two things: one) I am self-employed and two) I have every right to take my career seriously. Because if I don’t — no one else will, either. That L’Oreal advertising phrase “I’m worth it!” from years back? Applies.

2) Is the company/person professional? – There are a lot of different types of authors out there. There are, also, a variety of publishers. Some run a business, full-time, and earn their income off what they do. Others? Well, you’ve seen market listings 4theluv. Some publishers don’t expect to make any money. Toss finances aside, for a second, and focus on the word “professional.” Size of publisher matters not. Volume and quality of publications matters not. People, on the other hand, are everything and it’s quite possible that no, they aren’t going to be professional. I’ve found that most don’t care where you’ve been or what direction you’re heading for; they deal with you as you are now according to their own objectives. Unprofessionalism explains a lot of industry-related treatment; while inexcusable from my perspective, even bullies get book deals. Knowing that, there’s really only one thing I have every right to be worried about: the words on my screen. Sometimes, though, certain comments and remarks are taken out of context and that can cause hurt feelings on both sides. Publishing is a people business. And people don’t always say or do the right thing. The majority of times, I believe mistakes are unintentional; sometimes, though, they are.

3) Has this sort of thing happened before? – In my experiences, problems can either be endemic or specific. When they are endemic, the answer is “YES!” But you don’t know that unless you talk to people or have loads of experience. When they’re specific, well, there’s still a bunch of factors that could have borked the situation. It’s fundamentally true that you will not get along with everyone; sometimes, you have to find the people that you DO get along with, but that requires social skills and/or copious amounts of alcohol. (I jest on that last. And not joking about the social skills.) This industry is pretty small and, if you’ve been around long enough, you’ll probably make a few friends, enemies, and (though I loathe to use this word) frenemies. You’ll hear rumors, conjecture, gossip. You’ll find opportunities, get recommendations, and exchange favors. And, eventually, you’ll start to navigate the industry the same way you do your day job (if you have one) or your social life. Having a support network, whether they’re in the industry or not, really helps ground me.

4) Am I happy with the quality of my work? My ability to produce words? Upcoming projects/contracts? Financial solubility? Where I’m at with my career? – These yes or no questions sum up the crux of any dissatisfaction issue for me. In order, right now, as if 1/21/2013: yes/yes/yes/no/no. Ah! So I’ve just confessed I’m happy with my work, but I’m not satisfied with my overall career.

This little reality check nails what I need to focus on and identifies the possible source — the real epicenter — of my distress. No room for “maybes.” If I say “maybe” for any one of those questions, I count that answer as a “no.” The more yes’s I have, the more content I usually am. Win win, I say. More words on the screen cures all ills.

Or, as they quip here in double digit freezing temperatures… Time for chocolate mint cookies.

    Mood: cold
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Not enough
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Blargh. Housework.
    In My Ears: Nothing.
    Game Last Played: Bears!
    Movie Last Viewed: Lorax
    Latest Artistic Project: Holiday gifts
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology

A Semi-Obligatory but Sort of Not Really Progress Update

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2013 is off to a fantastic start! I’ve delivered a little over 10,000 words of fiction so far, submitted quite a few other pieces, and circulated a number of pitches plus I’m now diving head first into Kickstarter planning, new stories, scripts, and RPG-related material — and that’s just for my writing and editing plate. That Cortex Plus Hacker’s Guide Kickstarter I mentioned earlier? Funded in less than a week! Now onto the stretch goals! For John, we’re celebrating the upcoming release of his new game ROFL! which will be released through Cryptozoic and working on a few other sekrit projects.

I also just received my schedule for the GenCon Writer’s Symposium. I was invited to work with SFWA publicist Jaym Gates on the Business Track; I have not opted for any panels outside of that. I’ll post a final schedule later on. I also have two time slots in Author’s Alley where I’ll have my books and games to sign and I’ll be doing a reading with author Paul Genesse.

I was so excited about everything that’s been going on, I got a little lax with my social media embargo. I gotta tell you, it feels great to be in smack dab in the middle of a whirlwind and so much fun!

    Mood: Boo-yah
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: I WILL NOT CONFESS MY ADDITION.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: A few, but it’s darn cold!
    In My Ears: Amy’s Choice Doctor Who
    Game Last Played: Bears!
    Movie Last Viewed: Resident Evil: Apocalypse
    Latest Artistic Project: Holiday gifts
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology

An Anti-Climactic Resolution

The Tick Weapons Lab Avatar

Just a quick note! I’m taking a break from fluttery butter updates on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and blogging periphery for the rest of January. This’ll give me a chance to work on a few resolutions.

Anything work-related (e.g. release announcements and the like) will still be posted, though! 🙂 More to come!

AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    Mood: Determined
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: *coughs* I was hungover.
    In My Ears: The Snowmen Doctor Who
    Game Last Played: Tetris
    Movie Last Viewed: Resident Evil: Apocalypse
    Latest Artistic Project: Holiday gifts
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology

Intrinsic Versus Extrinsic Motivation

Land of Symphony Avatar

I suppose I could spend the next twenty minutes (or however long it takes to write this) to tell you about my 2012, but since many of my new releases (with the exception of Redwing’s Gambit) debuted later this year — instead I’m going to look ahead and show you an incentive program I’ve designed for myself in 2013. (WHICH IS GOING TO ROCK!)

I’m of the mind that how a writer treats their career is the same as how they’d view a brick-and-mortar day job. I hail from many positions/verticals mainly because I’ve absorbed as much as I possibly can to go into business for myself. At the same time, I’m a pragmatist who always looks at risks versus rewards, which have been reinforced over the years in my day job positions, but I’m not the type to do anything half-ass. I mentioned this earlier, but I don’t write for validation. Here’s the thing. Validation, pet projects, favors, etc. these are all intrinsic motivators. You write a story for a friend because it’s their birthday. You opt to submit a story to a fledgling outlet because you like the editor. You work on a project because you love the theme. That’s great, but those are secondary motivators for me.

Extrinsic motivators, in my mind, are the external or physical reasons why you write. You get paid. You see your books in Barnes and Noble. You have kids to feed. A husband to support. Etc. It’s the end result of your efforts, which can still be a reason why you write, but it’s not the emotional mojo jojo that is influencing your decision — it’s what you get out of it in a tangible, measurable way. (And that last phrase, what “you” get out of it, is a broad spectrum, indeed.)

So what works for me? Extrinsic motivators. I just built a bookshelf to house the published books I am proud to have worked on. These were projects I’m thrilled to be a part of and I’m excited about the finished product. The end result, for a few years anyway, was my modus operandi — but it was not a system that was built to last.

If you’ve read my blog, you know I’ve struggled with the idea of writing for myself on spec and eventually overcame it. You probably understand why. Well, this is the reason — there’s no extrinsic reward. Not right away, anyway. It’s all intrinsic for me, even if I have a polished manuscript to sell, until one day it isn’t. There it is. A published story. I’ve earned money (an important thing) on my words. Another book is sitting on my shelf. If I’m going to treat writing like a career, I have to earn a living, and I can’t do that by writing something that never sees the light of day. Them’s the brakes. No pressure, right?

I realized that if I need an extrinsic reward for my work, then I’m hurting myself by relying on the same type of reward all the time. By focusing on the same old, same old, I’m not marking my progress by what type of writing I’m doing but, rather, by what I publish or get paid for.

That’s dangerous crazy talk for me; this will make sense shortly. First, what a writer has done in their career, the end result, is how a lot of other people judge the value of that author. Oh, you’re not a “real” writer until… [book deal, movie deal, award, famous editor, type of publisher, etc. etc. etc.] This, to the working writer, is damaging because there are a number of factors beyond our control and, more importantly, don’t matter on a day-to-day basis. To write, I have to focus on what I’m doing now — not what has already happened or what’s going to occur. Also, in my mind? If I’m using the same common benchmarks that everyone else is, then I’m not enjoying the journey or the process, and I’m hurting myself by “measuring up” to somebody else. I’m ignoring what happens between “birth” (e.g. the nascent idea of a story) and “death” (e.g. when it’s published or when I get paid) of the story — but I’m the one who has to do the work.

What makes me unique, is my perspective, vision, and voice; every writer has to have some way to protect themselves (e.g. those intangible assets I just mentioned) and I’m no different. As my career grows, I need to rely on some form of extrinsic motivation to counteract the internal processes of creation, something that means a great deal to me. At first, I didn’t see this simple concept, but after a year of trial and error, I now understand why.

Eventually, I figured out that I lose motivation by inches when projects don’t succeed; my mood is horrendous if bad news piles up all at once. Why? Because if the extrinsic reward is either greatly delayed or nonexistent, then those motivators I’m counting on disappear fast. Books get canceled. The project leaders go bonkers. There’s a difference in creative opinion. I’m not writing-for-hire, I’m working for myself. I’m penning a long-term project that won’t see the light of day for a few years. Etc. Etc. Etc. To the public at large, a writer doesn’t seem to be “doing” anything if they can’t see the end result of their work. But this, simply, is not true.

Without anything to motivate myself in a tangible, measurable way, the act of creation withers and fades. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there isn’t an “end” in the publishing cycle. It’s just how it is. There is no “standard” cycle for book publishing because everyone writes at different speeds, deadlines aren’t the same, and no two writers are exactly alike. Not everybody’s a novelist. Not everybody can write multiple novels. Not everybody will be a best-seller, either.

Now, there are other extrinsic motivators that relate to the writing process. Tracking submissions, word counts, daily goals, etc. All of these count as measurable mini-goals that lend itself to the finished project or end goal (e.g. self-sustaining writer). What I needed to figure out, however, is what kind of extrinsic reward for personal career milestones will motivate me; these milestones are my benchmarks that tell me I’ve accomplished something. More importantly, they occur regardless of what I’m working on — whether that’s on spec or not.

In my case, my extrinsic motivator is a charm bracelet. Yep, I sucked it up and bought a sterling silver Pandora-style bracelet. Then, I rewarded myself for all of 2012 with one bead. This is my starting point. As 2013 progresses, I’ll reward myself after each milestone by adding a single bead to the bracelet. I’ve already picked a theme. The sea. (Primarily because I like skulls as a theme in jewelry and pirates were a creative way to go. Hoping to find a Cthulhu-one!) It may sound incredibly silly, but this bracelet is my extrinsic motivator; not only is it something I can wear now, it’s a piece I can add on to and have a memory to go with each component. And, it’s a constant reminder of the promise I made to myself. Every time I look at this bracelet, I know what I pledge to do this year.

This way, I have a tangible, measurable method of tracking whether or not I make good on that promise. This way, I have a series of small, extrinsic motivators that will happen regardless of what the end result might be.

And this way, I have a method of seeing the progress I’ve made. The more beads I add, the more satisfied I’ll be with my work.

    Mood: Inspired
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Manageable.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: There was cleaning to be done.
    In My Ears: Clubbed to Death (Kurayamino Variation) The Matrix soundtrack
    Game Last Played: Tetris
    Movie Last Viewed: Resident Evil: Apocalypse
    Latest Artistic Project: Holiday gifts
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology

Lovecraftian Podcast and Other Tales

Cthulhu Scribe by Drew Pocza

A few weeks ago, I mentioned I had a new story available in the November issue of the Lovecraft Zine. Last week, Mike uploaded the free podcast version of the issue which is available here. I thought the readers did a smashing job and really add great characterization to these sordid tales.

Speaking of sordid, I’m finishing up another Lovecraftian tale — this one set in Europe at the turn of the century. The other day, I was just remarking on all the everyday things we take for granted that they didn’t have back then. Airplanes were just beginning to emerge, cell phones and television sets were nonexistent, along with many other household appliances and technology. Even beyond that, consider the food and the way people dressed. It was unheard of for a woman to walk down the street in a tank top and sweatpants. All these things, coupled with superstitions and a rapidly-changing world, make for an interesting time period.

Once that story is done, then that’ll complete the unholy (though, unrelated) trilogy of tales, the second being the newly released “The Button” from the We Are Dust anthology — which is now available on Amazon, too.

Writing Lovecraft-inspired stories is a lot of fun; I feel like there’s always some new corner of his ‘verse and style to explore — whether that’s a direct translation or not. Perhaps that’s why I really loved Boom! Studios comic interpretation of Cthulhu, because the visual form (coupled with the necessary word conversation required) really lent itself to a stunning interpretation in the Fall of Cthulhu and Cthulhu Tales series.

    Mood: GO PACK GO!
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Suffering from withdrawal. (Not pretty.)
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Gym
    In My Ears: Steam Peter Gabriel
    Game Last Played: Tetris
    Movie Last Viewed: The Red Baron
    Latest Artistic Project: Holiday gifts
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology
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