Listen, Then Get Off Your Bum

Fire She-Ra Avatar

Before I begin today’s passionate rant o’ fiery-ness, here’s what started this blog post. A comment I made on Facebook saying:

If I measured my success as a writer based on everyone else’s opinions of me, I’d give up right now. I don’t. I’m not writing for validation. I write because I love doing it and even though a professional career in storytelling is extraordinarily difficult — what *isn’t* challenging that’s worth fighting for? I write because I love it. And I’ll keep on writing, regardless of where I “end up.”



And, here’s a quote that meandered to me via Steven Long.

“I try to trust my instincts as much as possible. As a writer, all you do is have people tell you you’re wrong and you suck 24 hours a day, so if you don’t listen to yourself, you’re just going to end up in a mental institution.” — Amy Sherman-Palladino


Negativity is ridiculous in our world today and it can overpower you if you let it. I don’t want to be one of those people who wallows in the awful and is so affected by it I don’t act or write or do the things I want to do. Have I suffered from depression at times? Yes. Have I worked through it? Yes. Have I spread that negativity around myself on occasion? Yes. I’m human. I make mistakes. Then I put on my big girl panties, deal with the situation the best I know how, and get over it. I’m not consistent. I’m not perfect. I’m flawed and beautiful and myself in all its various forms. I am human — just like you.

Opinions about how valuable “you” are in any field, creative or not, are rampant. The bad ones can get to you, wear you down, make you feel like shit about the fact that everything you’ve done is for this moment — to be “X” — isn’t worth a pound of salt, but you cannot let that happen. You can’t. And I can’t either.

Nine times out of ten, when someone tears somebody else down, it’s a reflection on the ripper-upper and NOT you. It’s a power play. Low self-esteem on their part. Jealousy. A point of frustration. Sometimes, it’s not even about you. They had a bad day. They’re depressed. Somebody died. They’re ignorant about publishing. They have a specific belief about a writer’s career path that won’t be changed. Other times, when it sounds negative but it’s really not, it’s a little tough love that comes down the pipe. Do you want to give up? Are you really writing or playing Angry Birds Star Wars? What is your work worth to you?

Here’s the secret: whatever you do? It will never be good enough. As a writer, there are layers and layers of “validation” built into this community. Are you popular? Did you win a Hugo/Nebula/ENnie? Did you get a movie/book deal? Who are you published with? How many books do you have out? How successful is the TV/film series based off your books? Did Publisher’s Weekly give you rave reviews? There is always something wrong with you or your work — unless you’re so successful you’ve managed to move past that, but even then? The negative comments won’t stop just because you’ve “made it.” They just take on different forms.

There are positive comments in there, too. Some are said with total and complete honesty; others, to butter your ego or get something out of you. Like the negative comments, these can also overwhelm you if you let them because if you’re doing your “thing” for validation — you’ll stop whatever that is once you achieve that goal either consciously or subconsciously. You start buying your own bullshit. However, for the vast majority of the creative folks out there, positivity is hard won and hard earned, which is why it’s so easy to believe in that fake persona, that rockstar image you’ve built up for yourself. Pokes about why something’s bad are more common than why it’s good.

What I worry about, is what’s good enough for my work, my legacy of stories and games. I don’t do this to be selfish. I do this to “protect the Work.” (That’s a quote from Christine Merrill, by the way.) I work based off of what I value because if I’m always worrying about what everyone else thinks, outside of the editor/publisher/agent production cycle — then I won’t write and I don’t push forward. (It’s also important to remember the human side of the equation. There is such a thing as focusing on the work so much you forget you deserve to be treated well, too. I’ve done this and lesson learned!) Otherwise, it’ll always be about that one jerk reviewer. That asshole writer. That crappy publisher. An unsupportive family. Some douchebag on the street. And if you stop writing because of them — wherever that negative voice hails from — then you let them rule your life.

This, my readers, this is where moments of true weakness comes from. When you allow someone else to get so far into your head you stop being true to that awesome person inside yourself. I believe we are awesome. I do. But I feel like so many people allow themselves to be beat down by life, you forget the loveliness inside of you, and you get so tired your “fire” just gets snuffed right out. Don’t light a match — burn a torch! A bonfire! Roast marshmallows ’cause you’re on fire! You want to know why the assholes seemingly win? Two reasons: because we focus on that and highlight them instead of the brighter side, and because awesome folks like you have given up!

I don’t write because I’m desperate for other people’s opinions. (Some are necessary are part and parcel to doing business. I’m talking about straight up validation, here.) Everything I care about is with respect to the work, but even then there are times when snarky, overly-critical comments are made simply because there’s a personality conflict. When something bad happens, I whine and eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later) I get over it and I keep going. This is not just about persistence, my readers, this is ALSO about being RESILIENT.

Resilience means the bubble around you is not a hard shield, but a flexible, bendy material. Sometimes, things will bounce right off you. Other times, it’ll sink in. Maybe YOU’RE having a bad day. Maybe you’re in pain, physically. Maybe you’re hungover. Maybe the past has stained you. Maybe you’re so focused on the words people are using instead of what they mean. Whatever the case, not everything will bounce off. That is NOT possible for anyone whose job is focused on words — because WORDS DO MATTER. The trick is recognizing those times and dealing with them appropriately, in your own way, so you keep on, keepin’ on.

NOW GO FORTH! GET OFF YOUR BUM. AND BE AWESOME!

    Mood: inspired
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: You’d be surprised…
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Gym, Gymanee.
    In My Ears: A dog, barking.
    Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Awakenings
    Movie Last Viewed: The Hobbit
    Latest Artistic Project: Holiday gifts
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology

Gushing Over Muse

I’m listening to Muse’s new album The 2nd Law, and I am thoroughly satisfied. This is a collection of songs where I hear the influence of bands/artists like Queen, Noisia, and Michael Jackson — and each tune is different in its own right.

I’m wildly appreciative of any artist who takes risks, which is part of the reason why I really dig Muse and would kill sacrifice my left arm give up caffeine love to see them live. (Incidentally, here’s a Muse 2013 tour schedule.)

Linked below is the music video for a song titled The 2nd Law: Unsustainable. Honestly, though, there is a wide array of music styles in this collection that go beyond the boundaries of rock opera, so if you’re mildly curious I’d check out each song as its own single.

My introduction to Muse was by way of the song Sing for Absolution. This is a very important song in my fiction for reasons which may (or may not) be disclosed at some point. :-p

Also? YAY, SCIENCE!

    Mood: Hazy with a chance of sunbeam positivity.
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: *tap, tap* Is this thing on?
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Not enough.
    In My Ears: Panic Station by Muse
    Game Last Played: Dragon Age: Origins
    Movie Last Viewed: Spiderman the new one.
    Latest Artistic Project: In progress!
    Latest Release: “The Dig” The Lovecraft eZine Issue No. 19

Jim Butcher on Motivation

A very heartfelt post came across my feeds today and I want to share this with you. What Jim Butcher says here? Matters. It totally and completely is relevant to any writer who struggles with fame, fortune, and the reasons why we’ve decided to take the hard road.

In particular, this stood out to me:

In fact, the vast majority of aspiring authors (somewhere over 99 percent) self-terminate their dream. They quit. Think about this for a minute, because it’s important: THEY KILL THEIR OWN DREAM. And a lot of you who read this are going to do it too. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It’s just human nature. It takes a lot of motivation to make yourself keep going when it feels like no one wants to read your stuff, no one will ever want to read your stuff, and you’ve wasted your time creating all this stuff. That feeling of hopelessness is part of the process. Practically everyone gets it at one time or another. Most can’t handle it. But here’s the secret: YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD WHO CAN KILL YOUR DREAM. — Jim Butcher at LiveJournal.com

And he’s right. The reason why I like this part of his article, is because Jim flat out states what I think is so difficult for others to grasp. If you want to be a writer, I feel you have to have some amount of personal responsibility. That short story didn’t get done? No one’s taking your keyboard out of your hand. That novel didn’t get outlined? Who’s fault is that? And before you say: But I have full-time job, kids, medical problems, etc. I will point out authors like Matt Forbeck who has not one, but five kids. Jay Lake, who has cancer but still pens novels. And full-time job? Shoot. Most authors have some other means of making money like a full-time job or multiple freelance contracts.

In other words: If you want to write novels, then write ’em. You have to tell the rest of the world to take a flying leap and prioritize based on your end game. Is it that simple? Yes, because in the end? Being a writer isn’t about making excuses. It’s about telling a damn, good story.

[Call for Quotes] How Did You Get Published?

Hi folks,

Based on the popularity of my article yesterday for SFWA.org entitled Message to New Writers: It’s Okay to Focus on Your Craft, I would like to follow up in July with a new article that highlights how published authors got their start.

    If you are a published author who has gotten paid for your fiction, please consider telling us about the first story you ever published and where it was featured.

    You may contact me directly or provide a quote in the comments below along with your website.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: no two paths within this industry are alike. You and I may have opinions about the approach an author has, but at the end of the day those thoughts mean diddly. What matters, is focusing on your own work. What you are comfortable doing. What you are happy with.

I hope by exploring other people’s stories, in addition to my own, that we’ll not only shed some insight on these diverse paths, but we’ll also provide new authors with some much-needed encouragement.

[Recommended] 23 Authors Share Tips for Writing a Book

An article written by Steve Silberman is making the rounds, and I thought I’d share this with you if you haven’t seen it. Dubbed “Practical Tips on Writing a Book from 23 Brilliant Authors,” the article shares a plethora of advice. I really liked Steve’s comment about dialing back Facebook and Twitter to focus on his work.

A few things became clear as soon as their replies came in. First of all, I’ll have to throttle back my use of Twitter and Facebook to get this writing done (and I may never rev up my idle Quora account after all.) Secondly, scheduling intervals of regular exercise and renewal amid the hours of writing will be essential. And thirdly, I’ll certainly be buying and downloading a software program called Scrivener, which is a powerful word processor specifically designed for writing books and keeping vast amounts of related data in good order. — SOURCE: Practical Tips on Writing a Book from 23 Brilliant Authors

Authors include both fiction and non-fiction writers, ranging from Carl Zimmer to Cory Doctorow. If you have a chance, check out the article. There’s some great tips in there!

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