Janus Goes Both Ways

Janus Small

No, I have not been blogging much lately and I apologize for that. I’ve been taking advantage of the holidays and the wintry weather to revel in the silence of the season by getting caught up on Netflix and playing Dragon Age: Inquisition while dropping the F-bomb vigorously. I had every intention of posting a wrap-up from last year, but as I started to review my project updates I realized that I had already done a pretty good job of sharing what was going on work-wise already. Or, at least, what I could share due to non-disclosure agreements, professional concerns, and the threat of another deadline whizzing by(1). The biggest change, last year, was a shift in scheduling from a long-term gig based on a number of books to a regular day-to-day freelancing. I thought I was prepared for it, because I had a number of gigs lined up, but sometimes even worst case scenarios fall through. And, in my experience, that’s usually when Life, the Universe, and EverythingTM sends a stunning reminder that yes, mortality is a “thing” and bodies do have an expiration date (2).

To cope, I traveled a lot. Whined and bitched. Read a lot. Whined and bitched some more. Drank. Felt bad about the whining and the bitching, then played TetrisTM with the projects that slowly ramped up again. Did not feel bad about the drinking, though, as I did keep THAT in moderation. But, all things considered, I did wind up sliding back-and-forth, teetering over the abyss. It happens to everybody. It, going through a depression, happened to me. And yet? Over the holidays, I realized how very normal last year was, and how upset I was because of it. Normal, for all intents and purposes, didn’t feel like progress because it wasn’t extraordinary in any way shape or form. So over 2015!

Anyway, I hinted that work was variable last year for a variety of reasons in my progress updates. Part of this, I feel, was due to the fact that some potential employers would look at my slate of releases and assume that always applies to what I am doing right now, right this minute, with no flexibility or room for discussion. Mistaken impressions do seem to be a constant battle for me, because I’ve benefited from posting my progress updates in many ways. For example, they show I don’t just work on games(3) and, as another, they also help explain gaps in a release schedule. Ironically, my slate of projects is typically filled with releases that will be coming out in six months to a year or more. If there’s a huge rush of books, comics, and games announced here, it’s a reflection of work I’ve already done–with the exception of short-term projects or my own stuff. The moral to my story is this: if you read something posted online and come to a conclusion, try not to make decisions based on what you read. Ask! While I am a WYSIWYG kind of a person, I (like every other author with a micro-public profile out there) post different kinds of blogs for various reasons. Posting a progress update to avoid getting hired on a project is pretty much the exact opposite of what I’m hoping for.

Moving on. As the title of this blog post suggests, Janus (e.g. the Roman god January was named after) does look both ways: forward and back. Looking ahead, I’ve plotted out my annual goals based on what I want to do as opposed to what milestones I didn’t achieve last year. I feel this approach is giving me a better, more optimistic outlook and, to be perfectly honest, it switches up my strategy a bit to include That Which Is Uncomfortable in order to grow(4). I’m also thinking more holistically in terms of travel, health, etc. and started a fresh routine to balance sitting on my butt (e.g. writing) with hoofing it. It’s been a challenge so far, but it’s also giving me a new perspective to kick off the year and–super bonus points–I can achieve smaller milestones that keep me motivated.

Speaking of motivated… Apologies for cutting this off now, but I’ve got a manuscript that begs my attention. ‘Til next time!

(1) Without fail, every time I talk about deadlines somebody quotes Douglas Adams to me. That quote is so old and tired, Hrotsvitha herself is rolling her eyes.
(2) Deep Thoughts, by a writer who is decidedly not Jack Handey.
(3) Yes, believe it or not, I can/have/do write more than just games. Grammar be cursed.
(4) Go ahead. Say it. “You’re such a blah-de-blah INTJ blah-de-blah nerd.” YES I AM. If I don’t take my writing seriously, how can I expect anyone else to?

    Mood: Strangely zen.
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: My ass is dragging today. Doesn’t matter how much I drink.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: 42
    In My Ears: Pew! Pew!
    Game Last Played: Plants vs. Zombies II
    Book Last Read: Raising Steam by Terry Pratchett
    Movie/TV Show Last Viewed: Empire Strikes Back.
    Latest Artistic Project: Um… Let me get right on that.
    Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Gods, Memes, and Monsters
    Latest Game Release: Dread Names, Red List for Vampire: the Masquerade and Ghosts in the Black for the Firefly RPG.
    Current State of Projects: Read my latest project update and My Departure from the Conan RPG.


Regarding NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo Avatar

Every year, NaNoWriMo comes and goes, and for the past several years I haven’t been able to make it work. Part of this is due to the ever-fluctuating changes in my freelancing schedule, part of it is due to the fact that I wasn’t ready to dive into plotting a novel for submission on spec, and the last bit (of course) is any number of excuses.

This year, I’m doing it because I’m ready. I know it might sound anti-climatic or even lame, but I had a lot to work through, personally, to get to this point. Now, it’s finally time. I’m participating this year, with gusto, and have the main story and its twists plotted out. It’s been unpacking, very slowly, in my brain through dreams and other mind pops. I can hear the narrator whispering, and I can see the characters; both of these things usually precedes a deluge of words for me. I’m excited about all my novels, but this story in particular is important because it’s a new step in a longer journey.

I’m off to a slow start, due to work, but as a full-time writer I feel it’s definitely time to get novels done and out the door to my agent. Yesterday, I tracked my word count and I wrote 5K and revised 8K for non-NaNo projects, but I know I can do the 50K this year, because I’ve produced that much word count before in less time. Just not in November.

Special thanks to my research crew (Eryn H.) and new friends (Jacqueline B., Crystal W.) for last minute help. I hope to do them proud.

If you’re so inclined, please feel free to friend me on NaNoWriMo. Let’s do this together!

    Mood: LET’S DO THIS THANG
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Starbucks DoubleShot Energy
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: I… Wow. Yeah, nothing.
    In My Ears: Tron soundtrack
    Game Last Played: Kingdom Rush: Frontiers
    Book Last Read: Howl’s Moving Castle. Starting on the sequel!
    Movie/TV Show Last Viewed: Once Upon a Time. OH, DARK SWAN!
    Latest Artistic Project: STILL EDITING.
    Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Gods, Memes, and Monsters
    Latest Game Release: Dread Names, Red List for Vampire: the Masquerade and Ghosts in the Black for the Firefly RPG.
    Current State of Projects: Read my latest project update and My Departure from the Conan RPG.


NaNoWriMo Prep from a Pragmatist. Yep, that’d be me.

Madagascar Penguin Avatar

NaNoWriMo starts on Sunday, and I’m using this week to prepare for it. The 50,000 word count for a singular work will be on top of my writing, which includes some editing and spec work this month as well. Knowing that my plate is going to be full (and then some) means that I have to plan in advance for an insanely busy next couple of weeks. I’ve been through this kind of writing crunch before, which means I know I can do it again.

Here’s some of the steps I take to plan for an insane month. Your mileage will vary, as your living arrangements and family life might be different than mine.

1.) Remove or reduce day-to-day decisions. What I wear, what I’m going to eat, when I need to pay bills, chores…these are some of the examples of day-to-day decisions that take up headspace. When I’m slammed, I do a lot of meal planning/crock pot recipes and set out my clothes the night before. Yes, this means I am wearing pants(1) this month. Though I work from home, these types of decisions can impact both my health and productivity, so planning these things ahead of time means I don’t have to think about it. Mind you, this includes household maintenance tasks like chores and laundry as well, which means I have to communicate and sort out responsibilities with my partner. I might use my Sunrise app as reminders, or program my alarm at the same time every day, too.

2.) Eliminate distractions(2). You’ll probably notice that I’ll either be on social media a lot less, or at certain times. I’ve got a dual monitor along with my phone, and I’ve been playing around with how and when I post. For this month, I haven’t decided yet what I’m going to do, because maintaining it isn’t a huge priority for me for promotional purposes. However, there are other distractions that might occur. E-mails, phone calls, doorbells ringing… One of the digital solutions I use, is to schedule times when I respond and send out e-mails. I’ll sometimes be clear about when I expect to respond if a decision is required, too, because there is a tendency to expect one right away even when it’s not pressing. Of course, in some cases it is, but managing expectations for communication can go a long way to save time. I cannot stress the importance of sending clear e-mails enough, and I feel it is an art form. In addition to these tips, I’m shutting off my phone, wifi, as well as my second monitor.

3.) Plan downtime. This often gets missed, but it is hugely important. Often, I see people scheduling what they’re doing on the calendar. It is equally as important to schedule when you’re not doing anything, or when you need to take a break. This might include coffee and drinks with friends, or it might be to watch a movie or make dinner. I am also not going to sit for hours and hours at a time, because this isn’t healthy. Instead, I’m going to set up a schedule for the first week and then adjust from there. It also means, however, that I am planning for some flexibility and additional options for downtime than I might normally. Examples of mini-breaks range from origami to playing Tetris to taking a walk outside or stretching.

4.) Manage noise and song selections. Okay, so I’ve often mentioned how focused I am on sound. I have a pair of noise-canceling headphones, but I also have instrumental playlists set up on Pandora and my iTunes account. The other thing I do, when I’m in a heavy production month, is eliminate the amount of media that has words in them or, alternately, new words. I’ve listened to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy radioplay a thousand times, for example, and it fades into the background for me. One app and browser that replicates coffee shop noise is Coffitivity, but honestly? Video game soundtracks are fantastic to listen to, because the compositions are interesting and I don’t visualize a scene

5.) Say No to Research. The story that I’m writing for this doesn’t require any research, other than a few questions that I’m clearing up ahead of time. Even if I did need to do some research… That rabbit hole can wait. It is a time sink to click on links and read more information, and while a normal (e.g. non-insane) work day might allow for a certain percentage of reading, a high word count month does not for me. Mind you, a high word count month is not sustainable all the time for obvious reasons, including the physical strain it can take on your hands and wrists, but cutting down on the time I’d normally spend reading means I’ll be a lot more focused on my manuscripts.

6.) Devise a Two-Month Business Plan. This is basic business planning 101 for me. By putting together a two month business plan, instead of a 30 day writing plan, I’m thinking above and beyond NaNoWriMo. Now, for me this is completely necessary. My plans incorporate smaller projects and larger initiatives that I am writing for other people and pursuing on spec. However, I am not just thinking about November, because if I focus solely on this month, then I’ll be completely unprepared for December. This technique circles back to eliminating distractions, and it means that I’ve got a foundation to work from the following month. I don’t expect to be married to next month’s business plan, mind you, but it removes any overlap so I don’t miss anything.

7.) Factor in Flexibility. Things are going to go wrong. I might run out of mac and cheese. I might get suckered into a doorstop novel. Brain might revolt and ooze out of my head. It could snow. Anyway, my point is that there a lot of things that might go wrong, and factoring in a disaster recovery plan for me helps keeps words flowing. However, there’s always that chance that I have to stop, and I need to know that’s okay. I got really sick one year, and that pretty much ended my ability to keep writing because I had medicine head for two weeks. I can still write, mind you, just not as much nor as good. I picked it back up after NaNoWriMo was over, so I still finished my initial goals, even if it took me a little longer.

8.) Outline, List, and Plot. When I know what I’m writing, I tend to write faster. Even if I don’t adhere to every aspect of an outline, coming up with a bucket of potential “up the stakes” possibilities, motivations, etc. and having that handy ahead of time is hugely useful for writing. Thus, I’ve explored possible options for this particular story by capturing them in a list of words I can leverage while I’m writing, or to further brainstorm and use those as a jumping off point. It’s a little bit like plotting, but it’s less tied to the specific story structure and more focused on aspects of a character or a scene. If I got REALLY crazy, I might put together word lists, but that sort of thing usually happens after for me, during the revision process as I refine.

…and that’s it! Those are some of the things I am doing to prepare for NaNoWriMo. To the word mines! With a large, bloody axe!

(1) Not wearing pants is so overrated. I keep this regulated to casual Fridays or slothy Sundays.
(2) My agency will be doing a month long series of posts, including an article from me about your writing workspace. I’ll be sharing more information as we proceed.

    Mood: La la la!
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Thar be coffee
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Um. Sorry, yo.
    In My Ears: Beats for Studying playlist on Pandora
    Game Last Played: Diablo III
    Book Last Read: Um… Well, I’m starting Howl’s Moving Castle.
    Movie/TV Show Last Viewed: Once Upon a Time
    Latest Artistic Project: STILL EDITING.
    Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Gods, Memes, and Monsters
    Latest Game Release: Dread Names, Red List for Vampire: the Masquerade and Ghosts in the Black for the Firefly RPG.
    Current State of Projects: Read my latest project update and My Departure from the Conan RPG.


“Writer’s Block”, Instrumental Music, and a Keyboard

Land of Symphony Avatar

Technically, I’m off of my second or third social media hiatus, but now that I’m back I’ll be online less than I was before and blogging more frequently. The negativity has really gotten to me, this time around, and in the past few weeks I have had a complete 180 in mood and all things. As an artist, I need silence, that freedom to not say but to listen, and the ability to create without an audience watching or I seeing them. I suppose this comes from my many years of being a performer, but you know? When I used to practice for hours on end, I didn’t need/want an audience, and I don’t need one now. All I need, is the room to practice, and thanks to a wondering, loving, and supportive group of friends and loved ones, I have that. Now, it’s up to me to make them proud.

Many things, with respect to my productivity, go back to the fact that I was a performer for a long period of time, primarily my formative years and in college with a few events that happened beyond that, including a rock opera. I’ve had jobs in the music industry, and I’ve also acquired a keyboard a while back, but I haven’t played regularly for a long, long time. For me, the piano is connected to a great deal of trauma, and I’ve been avoiding it and anything related to any kind of songwriting for a while–until I can’t anymore. I’m working on a song at the moment that’s connected to an… Well, let’s just say it’s a “big” story, and this tune won’t let me go.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been picking away at my office, to see what it is I actually have sitting around in boxes(1), and sorting some things for later.(2) This was done with the intent of possibly moving my office, but now I see I have a very clear space to set up my keyboard, and that will allow me to do something I haven’t done in a long, long time: practice. It is scary, for me, and I don’t think it’s something that can ever be explained to anyone else–nor do I want to. Not anymore. I’m not getting back into music because of my past, but because of my future. I don’t know if I’ll still be able to play blindfolded or with my hands behind my back–time will tell how long I can even play. But, this is the last piece in a series of dominoes for an artist’s recovery program I’m taking, and this is everything to me, because this is where my heart can be found(3).

Music is also the first thing I turned to after my initial two weeks of social media deprivation, to help rebuild the foundation and get things flowing again. This, I feel, is pretty important given that I don’t believe in writer’s block. I do think it’s as Kathy Steffen described: writer’s avoidance behavior. The block is an illusion, it’s a piece that we think is there because we’re specifically avoiding something, we’re shielding ourselves by saying there’s a physical object standing in our way preventing us from getting to whatever it is we need to. And yet, there are ways to power through it beyond motivation: deadlines, journaling, switching to another project, positive affirmations, visualizations, mini-art therapy, etc.

More than all of this, however, is the fact that music, either listening or performing, has always increased productivity for me on a number of levels. More, if the music doesn’t have any words associated with the song, as well. To me, music and animation are similar, in that there’s the creative aspect, but also the mathematical and logistical components required to breathe life into each piece. I may have mentioned this one before, but words are music to me, and certain words carry minor tones (e.g. if they have a negative connotation), and others major (e.g. positive). So, listening to classical or dub step or ambient or even drums fills my head, gives me something to focus on, and sometimes allows me to “see” the music that is happening. This last piece, setting up the keyboard and playing, is reconnecting a mechanism that has been missing for far too long, for a good, damn reason.

Like I said. Scary. But nothing good ever comes from giving into fear.

(1) Yes, my office could have been one of the parents’ from Coraline.
(2) Later, but not indefinitely. I hate filing more than splatterpunk, but it does feel like clearing out the cobwebs, to be sure.
(3) My cousin explained that the translation of a surname in our family tree means “music.” Appropriate!

    Mood: My cats are pretending to be Dickens-esque characters, ergo…
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: I ADMIT NOTHING.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Considering I walked for six hours on Friday, my butt fell to the chair. Hard.
    In My Ears: Clubbed to Death (Kurayamino Variation)
    Game Last Played: Tetris. Because Tetris.
    Book Last Read: I’m reading a book by Ursula Le Guin, but sadly I cannot remember the name of it since I just started.
    Movie/TV Show Last Viewed: Harry Potter series
    Latest Artistic Project: Gothic corsages. There shall be pics, later.
    Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Gods, Memes, and Monsters
    Latest Game Release: Dread Names, Red List for Vampire: the Masquerade and Ghosts in the Black for the Firefly RPG.
    Current State of Projects: Read my latest project update and My Departure from the Conan RPG.


Writing Exercise Inspired by Cupcake Wars

Mushu Avatar

Of all the reality TV shows to get addicted to, I’ve discovered I like Cupcake Wars(1). In fact, I like it SO much, I have turned into a cupcake snob myself. No longer are plain chocolate or vanilla cupcakes acceptable. Oh no… Even when utilizing store-bought frosting(2), I’m forced to sift cinnamon and add a garnish.

2015-09-22 11.45.59

I rather like the themes they explore, too. Science! Tim Burton! SDCC! Roller Derby! My next mission is to make filled cupcakes, only they’ll likely be cherry-almond a la these Dexter babies from Have You Nerd. I have the butcher knives, already(3).

There’s another side effect of watching Cupcake Wars, however, and that is falling in love with how the cupcakes are described. “It’s a raspberry-mint cupcake topped with a chocolate-hazelnut buttercream and garnished with a raspberry-shaped marzipan and mint leaves.” It reminds me why I love to read about food in the first place!

I’m not sure if you’re inspired just yet, but I am! Food can bring out a fantastic detail in worldbuilding, as feasts have a lot of allegorical and visual impact. The very first descriptions I remember were from The Lion, the Witch, and the WardrobeTurkish Delight–and the tea party/cakes from Alice in Wonderland. Why are these foods so memorable? What about their description entices us?

I find that writing about food is a great exercise in highlighting how detail can make something more enticing to the reader. Is it a chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting? Or is it a homemade chocolate cupcake made with organic eggs, milk off the farm, and cocoa beans from Brazil, topped with milk chocolate ganache? Which one would you be more likely to eat? To practice writing about food, I find that picking a specific type of food–in this case, cupcakes–and then finding a picture to describe it is a fantastic method to facilitate visualization.

Here’s a picture of a cupcake featured on Cupcake Wars.

Double Shot Mocha Lattee Cupcake

How would you describe this cupcake? What ingredients do you think are in this chocolate confection? After you’re done, compare how you’ve imaged this cupcake with the original recipe.

(1) Beware the auto-play. Sigh.
(2) See also: because I was cleaning while baking, and couldn’t multi-task without sprouting extra arms. Or, alternatively,
(3) Fondant is “teh evil”, and I have yet to unlock its mysteries.

    Mood: Let bachelorette weekend begin!
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Let there be coffee.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Not enough.
    In My Ears: Nameless dubstep beats.
    Game Last Played: Ugh. This jewel-addicting monstrosity.
    Book Last Read: The Silmarillion by Tolkien
    Movie/TV Show Last Viewed: Ghost in the Shell
    Latest Artistic Project: Thinking about it.
    Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Gods, Memes, and Monsters
    Latest Game Release: Dread Names, Red List for Vampire: the Masquerade and Ghosts in the Black for the Firefly RPG.
    Current State of Projects: Read my latest project update and My Departure from the Conan RPG.


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