Four links today! Let’s get linkage-ing. In Part II of “things that can make you feel like crap” there are toxic feelings. They fester beneath the surface, make you question not only what you’re writing, but why. I originally wrote 1,000 words on the subject to talk about ways to neutralize them and the like, but instead? Well, I believe The Only Thing You Need To Know About Writing from DorkTower.com sums up my feelings on the subject to a “T.” Knowing these feelings are common is nine-tenths the issue for me. When you realize that you’re not alone, then suddenly it makes you feel like you CAN conquer impostor’s syndrome.

My second link is from writer extraordinaire Theodora Goss who talks about what happens after depression. Emotional trauma of any stripe isn’t something you apply a patch to and you’re suddenly the exact person you were before. When you go through any emotional rough spot, there are triggers that can send you spiraling right back to where you were before. Her post talks about ways to help and be kind to yourself. Great read and fantastic reminder.

Third link is from the esteemed writer Kameron Hurley about publishing. Surprise, I have no idea your book is coming out is a fantastic read. Repeat after me: publishing is not a meritocracy. Good books sell, bad books sell. Good books don’t, bad books don’t. It’s just how it is and, like Kameron says, the only way forward is to get back to work. For those of you who are new to the field, pay attention to what this writer says about marketing. It’s important and all very true. Kameron’s experience describes what happens when a superuser (e.g. you’re online all the time promoting your book) encounters a casual user (e.g. someone that just now encounters what you’re doing). This happens a lot in marketing.

Lastly, an article about net neutrality in practice from a tech blogger. Back when I was involved with GamePolitics, which later morphed to the ECA, there was a lot of fear about how net neutrality impacts consumers for streaming services like MMOs and other platforms (e.g. Netflix, Pandora, etc.) that require an interrupted, higher bandwidth. Regulating bandwidth at peak/off-peak times and impacting specific services on a user level may seem like it makes sense and, in some cases, it probably does on a technical level. However, these practices dramatically affect the consumer when you can’t physically “get” the services you pay for or want to use because the ISP is interfering with that. What’s more, you don’t get the ability to resolve that, either. You can’t call up your ISP like the aforementioned blogger did and say: “Hey, I’m using Netflix, can you please ensure that my stream isn’t throttled so I can access the content I’ve paid for?”

With more and more services going into the cloud, this really worries me. My fear is that net neutrality will be parsed further into pay-per-usage, which will effectively put that back into the cellphone camp… Which will force a dramatic change in the business landscape and also encourage some companies, like Google and Amazon, to set up their own ISPs out of the country. There is nothing more frustrating than worrying about net access, especially when it’s so different outside the U.S. Add on TOP of that the possibility that ISPs are impacting what you can access? In my opinion, that has the potential to change what we buy and what sites we visit in an unfair way. I hope I’m wrong.

Mood: POWER UP
Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Addiction not managed and nah, nah, nah I don’t care.
Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Phew! That controller was really heavy.
In My Ears: Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye
Game Last Played: Sonic All Star Racing
Book Last Read: Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett
Movie Last Viewed: Can’t remember. It was some horrifically awful “but my husband t’aint really dead” movie.
Latest Artistic Project: *Still* *still* *still* need to take pictures… It’s on the list!
Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Last Man Zombie Standing
Latest Game Release: Freedom Flyer
What I’m Working On: Primarily tie-in games work and novels.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’re ALL sick of winter. It’d probably be different if we were used to this much cold, this much snow, and this much ice — but we’re not. This has been a terrible season here, one of the worst in the past twenty years, and I’ve pretty much had it. ‘Course, this tolerance level translates to staying indoors a lot, blue moods, and a low tolerance for b.s. of the “social media” variety. I suppose it could be my sheer lack of patience talking, but commentary on what people are commenting on in the way that people are supposed to comment on it… Well, I’m guessing I’m not the only one who’s going through seasonal bleh-ness. Apparently my trip to San Francisco didn’t put a big enough dent in my SAD.

Anyway, I could be channeling all of this energy into writing, but partly what’s happened is that I had a mad, mad crazy rush of hundreds of thousands of words, outlines, etc. and then? Full stop. Or rather, partial stop and waiting on approvals, etc. I only have myself to blame, really. But, I’m human. Shocking, I know. I mean… Writers are human with biological bits outside of words? THAT’S CRAZY TALK.

Excuse my French but vas te faire encule vieillard hiver. Yep, I used Google Translate for that one. (Note to self… Improve my French…) The only way I know how to move forward is to change my routine, so I’m segmenting my social spheres a bit by joining Ravelry (Thanks again, Jonna!) and Fitocracy (WOO!). The first is a knitters/crocheters/bead weavers website and the second is for fitness.

I will not be defeated by a sharp-angled ice man who spews cold spit to get his point across.

Mood: POWER UP
Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Addiction not managed and nah, nah, nah I don’t care.
Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Phew! That controller was really heavy.
In My Ears: Motherboard by Daft Punk
Game Last Played: Sonic All Star Racing
Book Last Read: Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett
Movie Last Viewed: Can’t remember. It was some horrifically awful “but my husband t’aint really dead” movie.
Latest Artistic Project: *Still* *still* *still* need to take pictures… It’s on the list!
Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Last Man Zombie Standing
Latest Game Release: Freedom Flyer
What I’m Working On: Primarily tie-in games work and novels.

As soon as I reached an interim between The Day JobTM projects, I got sick with a bad case of the flu. I normally don’t get hit like this, but so it goes. Two weeks later… Finally back on the recovery train, then got a migraine. Thanks to some TLC, I’m back to my normal regularly scheduled madness. HOPE THIS STAYS THAT WAY!

Anyway…

I wrote an update on VioletWar.com about why I’ve stopped and started that particular book a million, zillion times. More to the point, I also mention what I plan on doing about it. My long overdue post pretty much boils down to a bad case of project anxiety. (A.K.A. Impostor Syndrome.)

I’m going to be checking in there once a week, but won’t be cross-posting the updates here. When the novel is done and off to beta readers, I’ll give you a heads up.

Mood: The blockage identifieth hath put me out of sorts.
Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Yeah, screw tracking that today.
Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: I suppose I should get on this.
In My Ears: Another gorramn snow plow.
Game Last Played: Sonic All-Stars Racing
Book Last Read: The Lies of Lock Lamora by Scott Lynch
Movie Last Viewed: GLADIATOR
Latest Artistic Project: *Still* *still* *still* need to take pictures… It’s on the list!
Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Last Man Zombie Standing
Latest Game Release: Freedom Flyer
What I’m Working On: Primarily tie-in games work and novels.

I recently drew upon a long list of sources to re-research and refresh my memory about the witch trials. There is a lot of Hollywood-itis associated with what happened in the 1690s and prior to that as well with respect to the Inquisition and whatnot; so the approaches to the topic in general aren’t as nuanced in film as you might find in books. The side effect to research, though, are always more questions and more books to read. I talked a little bit about this before, when I mentioned I was a hobby anthropologist, but it always, always happens when I dive in deep. But here? I can’t think of anything more profound than centuries of routing out heretics, then witches.

Imagine being a naturalist or an artist or even an introvert. People in your town think you’re weird. Maybe the local authorities do, too. You have a family. Wife, husband. Kids. Even though you consider yourself a good Puritan, you have a few folk beliefs. You don’t exactly “fit the ideal Puritan profile” but you’re not self-conscious about that. You don’t have the time to be because you’ve got crops to tend, family to raise, homestead to maintain. You’ve had a couple of family emergencies and had to miss church. The weather has been really crappy lately. For whatever reason, someone in town added one plus six and got two: you’re a witch. You get arrested and you don’t even know who accused you. By the time the Magistrates begin their examination, you think the whole thing is so incredibly ridiculous you make a smartass comment. Because you didn’t respond in the precise modest tone of voice the judges expect — you are stripped naked and examined further for “witch’s marks.” You may be tortured until you confess. While you’re awaiting Trial, you get tossed in jail. That costs money. Your family has to pay for your jailtime. If they can’t, even if you’re found innocent, your house and everything you own is confiscated. Then the Trial starts. You’re up in front of the Grand Jury. Their decision is absolute. Guilty? You’ll hang. Innocent? You’ll be released. Broke, but free.

Part of the reason why I feel the 1690s in particular is great fodder for alternate history in games and fiction, is for the same reason why I’m attracted to the Westward Migration and Civil War–to understand a thing, even if it was horrible, I need to experience it. Then, I share my outlook with players or readers through a creative lens. Sometimes I have word count limitations; other times the point of a story isn’t about the events, but the characters. Either way, when I write alternate history, I’m using reality to ground my worlds and characters much in the way I use futurism to write science fiction. Part of the reason why I can get away with word conservation is because I prefer a more realistic, tangible sense to my worldbuilding. Even if it’s twenty-percent based on reality, then I will have a stack of books beside me to read up on that aspect I’m drawing from.

Alternate history is a lot of fun for me to write, because I get to do lots of research and dive deep into different viewpoints. The challenge is balancing how much history to include depending upon the scope of the project. Some of the decisions I make are impacted by word count, but also the goal of what I’m trying to accomplish. There’s a huge difference between writing to accurately represent a time period–which in my mind steers more toward non-fiction or fiction without supernatural elements–versus writing for suspension of disbelief. The minute vampires enter into a historical setting, then that changes the landscape.

In the end, I’m not looking to be precisely historically-accurate because that’s not my job. I’m not a historian or a history professor. My role as a writer, as a game designer, is to write stories and design games for your entertainment. To do that, I feel any time I dive into alternate history I have to do my homework to understand what really happened from multiple viewpoints before I can fictionalize it. This is how I fall in love with the work. And, if I’m not in love with what I’m doing? Then I suspect you won’t be, either.

Did I “fall in love” again with the witch trials? Well, that project’s still in development. When it’s released, though, you can be the judge.

No pun intended.

Mood: I am zen.
Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Addiction managed.
Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: 40 words a minute
In My Ears: Wax
Game Last Played: Battle Nations
Book Last Read: The Lies of Lock Lamora by Scott Lynch
Movie Last Viewed: THE AWAKENING
Latest Artistic Project: *Still* *still* *still* need to take pictures… It’s on the list!
Latest Fiction/Comic Release: Last Man Zombie Standing
Latest Game Release: Freedom Flyer
What I’m Working On: Primarily tie-in games work and novels.