This is What I Think of “Social” Search

Deathy By Encryption

Everything you need to know about my feelings on Google’s latest update is summed up in this article: Google’s Social Search: The Tech Giant’s Disastrous Decision to Muck Up Its Search Results

For more than a decade, Google search wasn’t “social” in any way. When I searched for a new car or a European hotel or the best way to plunge a toilet, Google would give me results that reflected the collected view of all Web users. That worked really well!

Not once during those years did I get to a Google results page and lament that I couldn’t see my friends’ ideas about the car I should buy or the hotel I ought to book. While my friends are thoughtful and knowledgeable people, their views on the tens of thousands of large and small inquiries that I bring to Google every year are almost always irrelevant. When I’ve got a clogged toilet, I want advice from an expert—a plumber, preferably, but I’ll even take the stranger who wrote this eHow post. What I don’t want to know is which link my boss consulted when his toilet was clogged.



Or, to put this in my own words:

    Just because an article, image, or blog post is popular does not mean that it’s accurate. Since when did Google believe everything was true on the internet?

Solution? Switch to Bing. Or, turn off Google’s social search. I’ve been very unhappy with many of Google’s latest changes because they don’t seem to do anything other than change the “look and feel.” In some cases, like with analytics, it’s pushed the design below-the-fold and requires MORE clicks to get to what I want. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

    [Insert Life Bits Here.] This week, my life “bits” that you normally receive are on hold. (Get your mind out of the gutter…) I am away on business and, in anticipation of a thrilling but busy week, have written this post in advance. I’ll be back soon, though! Comments are moderated, but I’ll get to them when I can.
January 16, 2012
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H.O.N.E.Y. a Free Story from my Morgue

Scrooge McDuck

I am feeling magnanimous today, so much so that after waking up at three o’clock this morning I’ve decided to dip into my Morgue and share with you a piece I wrote back in college. (And later revised slightly for a few grammatical sparkles that, no doubt, savvy proofreaders may argue at length with me about.) It’s definitely a time capsule piece, so I buried in a coffin and forgot about it. Today, in honor of my sheer lack of superstitious feelings for Friday the Thirteenth, I have dug up these pixels from the abyss of my computer just for you!

H.O.N.E.Y.

Glossy plywood stands erect on four walls. A gas fireplace waits anxiously in the corner, its single log hissing for a mate. An imitation bear hide sprawls before it, glass eyes shining from the blue warmth. Leather recliners guard the prize, posted carefully on either side. They, too, gleam oh-ever-so-slightly from the sole source of heat in the cabin. A refrigerator hums itself to sleep apart from them, along the side wall. Its contents wait patiently to be eaten. Beer, store-bought venison, and cocktail weenies. A mousy cabinet waits in the refrigerator’s shadow, full of potato chips, cheez balls, and paper plates. A cardboard table fills the corner with a restless coffee pot and overflowing ash tray. The coffee pot breaks up the log’s mating call with a loud snap, angry for being empty too long. The cigar butts mark a trail through the kitchen to a shy bunk bed, napping in the other corner. Its resting companions are a window and a clock radio. The window dreams. It dreams of Caucasian, middle-aged, overweight male hunters who enjoy smoking and drinking. Abruptly, the clock radio wakes up and speaks in a firm voice.

    “…and today, July seventeenth, 5067, is the day that we commemorate the birthday of Dr. Arnold T. Jujube, founder of the Separatist theory. Arnold is the guy who we all attribute to our way of life today. Isn’t that right, Buffy?

    Yes it is, Biff. But we certainly can not acknowledge this monumental day without also recognizing our late president Robert Radling, great-grandson of that astrology- loving president in the ancient nineteen-eighties. You know, Biff, I can still remember the stories that my great-great-great grandmother used to tell me about that era when I was younger. Imagine stereotyping each decade of a century!

    That is something to think about, Buffy. It is so fascinating to think of how advances in cryogenics have brought families even closer together.

    I know I would never be able to appreciate things like marketing soft-drink names on clothes if it wasn’t for my grammie, Biff. Remember to call your local cryrogenicist today to learn more about your history and appreciate our current way of life!

    Thanks for that heart-wrenching reminder, Buffy. Now here’s time for a little trivia. What is the present-day sector for what used to be the northern part of the former state of Wisconsin? Dial 999-2545 now. That’s 999-2545. Caller number nine will receive a trip to that FABulous sector #87, also known as L.E.A.F. Leo-Erotic-Anal-retentive-Football-players. Who, coincidentally, are all under five feet tall.

    Yum, sounds like the place that I want to be. What if Caller number nine is a heterosexual male?

    Well then, he will win an all-expense paid trip to sector #103, whose acronym is—

    Don’t tell me, don’t tell me! Is it C.H.E.A.P.?

    That’s right, Buffy. Clean-Hard-working-Environmental-Axe-wielding-Potheads. My, you must be up on your geography today.

    Well, Biff, it is SO hard to do nowadays. But I view the holonews every morning for weather and it tells me the climate-controlled temperature in every section!

    Okay, Buffy let’s go to a caller. How are phone lines are a-buzzing. Let’s meet Caller number nine! Hello, you’re on the air with ZNOT.

    Hi guys, um, actually I’m not your Caller number nine. I don’t really know the answer. I just wanted to—

    Well, how ‘bout a consolation prize anyway. Buffy and I will send you a free T-shirt, a complementary coffee mug with our logo embossed in fourteen karat gold, and a FABulous bumper sticker. How do you feel about that?

    Great. Um, can I ask a question?

    Shoot. And don’t forget listeners, we are still waiting for that oh-so-elusive answer to today’s trivia question. Dial 999-2545 now. Go ahead caller, what’s on your mind?

    I just wanted to respond, um. To this whole Separatist thing. I mean, why would you want to create a country that looks like bubble-wrap?

    Oh. Oh! Who do I see a-knocking on our studio door? Here, live and in the flesh, to answer that question is Mr. History guy. Let’s sing that haunting ditty. Shall we, Buffy?

    We shall, Biff.

    Mr. His-to-ry guy. Mr. His-to-ry guy. He knows ev-er-y-thing. Oh yes, he does. Es-pecially about stuff. Stuff we don’t need to know. We’re so hap-py. He’s so mis-er-a-ble. Poor Mr. His-to-ry guy.

    This is Mr. History guy.

    The reason why I called is because I wanted to figure out why we were in these, these bubble things. Every time I’ve asked anyone else, no one seems like they’re able to give me a straight answer. Has life always been this way?

    With the wonder of cryogenics at our disposal, today’s history lesson comes to us from Robert Radling himself. Back a little ways when President Radling got into office, around 2045 or so, life as we know it sucked the big pickle. Asian-Americans were dating Afro-Americans. Full-blooded Americans were sending their children to school with Haitian-Americans. Homosexual girls were found in clubs singing for heterosexual audiences. Things like that. So R&R, as we so lovingly called him, decided we needed to make a drastic change in our lifestyles. So he consulted his mentor and parapsychologist, Dr. Arnold T. Jujube. At first, separations in the gas-permeable, weather-controlled, plasma aerospheres were determined by ascending and descending sun signs. But, when the Saggitarians shot one too many arrows, and the Virgos couldn’t reproduce, Radling decided it was time for a larger change.

    But Mr. History guy, that doesn’t explain how we got into these smaller bubbles.

    Caller, we are not done yet! This portion of today’s history lesson is direct from Dr. Jujubes’ clone! Never lose your loved ones. Live forever without having to bear children the natural, messy way. Clonay, clone today. Take it away, Mr. History Guy.

    Well thank you, Buffy. After consulting Dr. Jujube, Dr. Jujube realized that R&R really was taking some “R&R” when he tried to use only sun signs to classify citizens! So the Dr. slowly poisoned R&R with cyanide to make it look like he had a massive, heart attack. He got away with it, too. I guess Radling’s wife hated him and took the fall. And guess what happened next?

    What Mr. History Guy?

    Dr. Jujube became our very next president. He developed a form known as I.M.B.T.T.R. for placement into the “bubbles.” Race, religion, eating preferences, favorite vacationing spot, tolerance for road rage as well as many other factors played into the thousand-page form. Then, results were tallied and calculated. Those matching over 80% are placed together into an environment. And they are only retested every twenty years! Other than the inter-global incident of 2087 and the disappearance of the former state of Oklahoma, we really haven’t had any problems.

    Thank you Mr. History guy. That answer explained a lot. Do I still get a free T-shirt?

    Well, Caller, I think you more than deserve it. What do you say, Buffy?

    I think that would be swell, Biff. Uh, I mean Mr. History guy. Time to take another caller. Will this one be our Caller number nine. Are you there?

    You’re on the air with ZNOT.

    Ooooooo, I love you guys. Especially you, Biff. Ooooo.

    Why thank you, I’m oh-so-flattered. But do you know the correct answer to today’s trivia question?

    Is the answer to your question sector #53?

    Yes, why Buffy, I think she’s right! But can you give us the acronym for today’s prize?

    H.O.N.E.Y. Hunting-Old-Negligent-Erring-Yodelers.

    Yes that’s correct for a trip to Sector #87! They are yodeling hunters. They are old. They have a norwegian background and they never hit what they shoot at!

    Oooooo, Biff you’re the greatest. Ooooo.

    Now here’s something that will take you back to the time of my great-great-great-grammie. The song is called “Material Girl” and is performed by a woman who professed to be holy!

    That’s FABulous, Buffy. And here you are callers, your flashback to days gone past. You’ve all got it coming to you.

The clock radio sings. The hissing log quiets down and falls asleep, snoring. Blue flames shrink in the fireplace to nothing. After tossing and turning on its burner a few more times, the coffee pot settles down into a melting sleep. The window continues to dream of old men shooting at deer, but never finding their mark.

THE END

January 13, 2012
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Look at Your Clock. Now Look at Your Dreams.

Singing Hamster Avatar

Ever since I stopped watching my word count and worrying about b.s., my productivity has jumped. I’ve written, on average, 5,000 words a day on top of my core responsibilities for the past two weeks. I have fallen in love with my art again. No wonder the Old Spice guy popped into my head this morning when I was having coffee. (I linked to the video below. If you can’t see it on your screen, click here.)

Here’s what he said:

    OLD SPICE GUY: Hell-o, Monica. Look at your clock. Now back to your dreams. Go back to your clock. Now back to your dreams. Sadly, your clock is ticking against your dreams. If you stop watching your clock and started working on your dreams, you could achieve your dreams.

    Look down. Back up. Where are you? You’re in a bookstore promoting the books you want to write. What’s in your hand? Now back to the clock. It has “it.” It’s two contracts with several agents waiting to rep the novels you wrote. Look again. The contracts are now book deals.

    Anything is possible when you stop watching the clock and get back to work.

Thanks, Old Spice guy!

    Mood: Can I help you?
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: One-half of one percent. GAH!
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: I thought about it.
    Yesterday’s Projects: Short story, Novel
    In My Ears: Neighbor’s bass. Snow days cause this.
    Game Last Played: PicCross 3D
    Movie Last Viewed: Buck Rodgers pilot episode.
    Book Last Read: [Redacted for Work. Shhhhhhhhhh…]
    Latest Artistic Project: Crystal Medallion pendant in silver and red
    Latest Release: Strange, Dead Love for Vampire: the Requiem

January 12, 2012
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Be Happy. Roll Some Dice.

Soot Sprit Avatar

Last year, I started Speak Out With Your Geek Out to encourage people to have fun about whatever it is they were into, to spread the happy and the shiny. What happened as a result of that was a swelling community of people who rallied around each other and who were genuinely interested in what people had to say. The biggest challenge we had was defining what the word “geek” was. Some people felt that geeks weren’t persecuted or nerd rage wasn’t an issue. Others were looking for “a” definition that they either fit into or they didn’t. The majority of people we heard from had a good time during that week and asked for this to be an annual event. (It will.)

This experience taught me something. It forced me to see that we are not the sum of our conversations or rants. That opinions of us can change quickly given the right circumstance.

Yesterday, it was announced that Wizards of the Coast is pursuing a new edition of Dungeons a& Dragons. ENWorld has a page summarizing What We Know About 5th Edition. The conversations have been fascinating to watch and the announcement was covered in several high-profile places like Forbes, The New York Times, etc. A lot of the chatter has been about how this new edition will affect them, that particular person. What I’m looking forward to, is whether or not this new edition will encourage new players to pick up the dice and roll.

Someone asked me where I thought the industry was going. Gaming requires a time commitment and social interaction. Different forms of gaming have fit into our lifestyles and our preference for technology, sure, but time is the primary component. You need an hour or two to play a video game. If you screw up or have something else going on, you can power off your console and get back to it whenever you have time. You need a good three to four hours at the table each week to continue a campaign with a group of people. That means managing schedules with kids, jobs, travel, etc. That game had better be worth it, eh?

While not all sports fans play sports, the majority of people I know who like games play games of some sort. In order for this hobby to grow, I feel our attention should be on ushering new fans into the hobby. As our time constraints grow, as we play fewer and fewer games (in public, private, at game stores or at conventions), businesses will have less reasons to put out great games or innovate. Like Hollywood, they’ll stick to the things they “think” will help them survive because they’re not generating enough revenue to stay in business.

As an aside: I know it sucks to think about something you love from a financial perspective. Ever since I first stepped into the industry there’s always been speculation about how different businesses do things. (Usually from other folks, myself included.) But the reality is that, regardless of outside opinions and passionate feelings, companies are run by people who love games and by people who make decisions based not only on what sells and what doesn’t, but what they have time for and how many fans they’ll reach.

I don’t have a public opinion one way or the other on how effective 5th Edition will be because it’s too early to tell. I do feel, however, that it’s important to the hobby as a whole. Dungeons & Dragons is a powerful brand to gamers and non-gamers alike. Healthy conversations about this game affect everyone because it gives us a point of reference when we’re introducing them to new and different games. Mind you, I’m looking above and beyond what happens at someone’s individual table because I care, very much so, about the future of this hobby.

The only way games will continue to grow in popularity (and acceptance) is if we have fun. Our enthusiasm playing the game is what will attract new players who are crucial to the survival of the industry. As people get older (and time grows shorter) the audience will shrink and diminish. How can we interest new players to sit down and roll dice? What is the selling point of RPGs, board games, and card games versus video games and MMOs? These are the things I ponder.

New players, my dear readers, is what I hope and pine for. It’s why I love going to conventions, to see how excited people are regardless of the game they’re playing, and why I enjoy my time with John and Steve Jackson Games. We all have our preferences in music, books, ice cream flavors — games are no different. Not every flavor of game is going to be dark chocolate pistachio caramel strawberry. They’re not all going to come in waffle cones with sprinkles, either. I’ve found conversations about edition wars to be exhausting because I play games to have fun, not be upset about them. I have to wonder if “the silent majority” feels that way, too. In a war, who wins? Throwback Pepsi doesn’t sell as much as regular Pepsi. Does it mean that the one selling better is superior to the other? Maybe, maybe not.

A bit rambling this morning, I know. I was *attempting* to be inspirational and encouraging and all of that craziness. Maybe, what I really want to know is: What will it take for us to publicly focus on the happy and roll some dice? Or, are edition wars important? Is there something I’m missing here?

    Mood: Accomplished. The words, they are mine!
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: One. Oy.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Typing like a crazy woman.
    Yesterday’s Projects: RPG, Novel
    In My Ears: Enya. Yeah, I know… I know…
    Game Last Played: PicCross 3D
    Movie Last Viewed: Buck Rodgers pilot episode.
    Book Last Read: [Redacted for Work. Shhhhhhhhhh…]
    Latest Artistic Project: Crystal Medallion pendant in silver and red
    Latest Release: Strange, Dead Love for Vampire: the Requiem

January 10, 2012
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Why I Can’t Wait for New Hero

Vampire

I cannot wait for “Fangs and Formaldehyde” to debut in the New Hero anthology. No word yet on the street date, but the conversation in my head went something like this:

    READER: What’s so different about your vampires?

    ME: Well, you know how some vampires sparkle?

    READER: Yeah…

    ME: Mine blow up!

    READER: They blow up? *confused look*

    ME: Yep! *grins like an idiot* If a vampire gets too emotional in my setting, they explode into little pieces! It’s very messy.


    Mood: Philosophical crossed with excitement.
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Two.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Half an hour walk
    Yesterday’s Projects: RPG, Novel, short story
    In My Ears: Computer fan. About to put some tunes in, though.
    Game Last Played: PicCross 3D
    Movie Last Viewed: Return of the King
    Book Last Read: The Encyclopedia of 500 Spells
    Latest Artistic Project: Crystal Medallion pendant in silver and red
    Latest Release: Strange, Dead Love for Vampire: the Requiem

January 6, 2012
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