A Story About Reality

Fire She-Ra Avatar

Before I get to today’s post: I have a new Tumblr account. I’m having trouble adding folks from Facebook and GMail, so if you re-add me over there I’ll follow you back. Some content will be the same, but there will be a lot more ephemera and pictures over there.

And now, on to today’s blog post.

One of the most common questions I get is: “Monica, why do you do so many different things? Why not just focus on writing your own stories?”

Many years ago, I met the creator of a very popular children’s property. He gave this company everything he had and, twenty years later, he was laid off and his situation quickly took a turn for the worse. Why? Because even though he did these fantastic creations — he didn’t own a piece and that hurt him in the long run. Not to mention, time changes what people are into. When he left, he had nothing and was forced to start over.

There are MANY experiences like this. One does not have to stray far to find a tragic tale in any creative industry. And, whatever you think of these people’s decisions, hindsight is always 20/20. Remember that. It’s easy to criticize. It’s hard (and even a little uncomfortable) to empathize.

I am creative, yes. And, I have a lot to offer those who are willing to pay me for my talents. But, I am also a businesswoman. The bills come every month. They don’t stop. Shit happens. Emergencies come and go. Art supplies, travel, instruments, and jewelry components aren’t cheap. And I have a life that needs living. Experiences that need to be had. Story nuggets waiting to be discovered. My world. My rules.

Reconciling the two things (art and life) is never easy, but this — coupled with the harsh truth that everything we do is tracked online nowadays — is the reason why I’m an octopus like so many others. I consult and freelance because I enjoying having the freedom to work on the projects that I want to write or provide my other talents for. (That doesn’t mean I’m not working on my own stuff; it just means you may not “see” the results of that for some time.)

Now, more than ever, I feel I have to be vigilant to remain flexible to changes that affect monies coming in the door. Sometimes, it’s as easy as showing up to write. Other times, it’s as simple as saying: “No, I am worth more than that.” Often, it depends upon the day and what’s in the pipe.

But this is where the reality comes into play. This isn’t what writing is like. This is what running a business is all about. While I’d love to focus all my time on creating endless works of art that magically disappear off my desk? And the huge check appears? And the readers and listeners and buyers threaten to break down my door?

None of that happens without quality art. I lose myself in fantasy when I can safely ignore reality. The two dimensions are interconnected for me — it’s my ouroboros. Without a beginning or an end.

And that, dear Readers, is why I do so many things. Because even when the words don’t come or my technique sucks that day or my fingers stop working? There’s one thing I can count on. The bills do.

    Mood: Cold
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Drinking Maximillian from Alterra.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Chasing cats and cleaning my office.
    In My Ears: Nothing. Blissfully, nothing.
    Game Last Played: Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed
    Movie Last Viewed: Painted Skin: The Resurrection
    Latest Artistic Project: SHINIES. Still need to take pics…
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology

Empty Head

Hellboy Avatar

I wrote about 3,000 words this morning and edited another 5K. All very deep and esoteric — plus I wrote a song. The 1800s-era tune is related to The Queen of Crows. When in doubt, go interstitial! Hoping to get the sheet music down; have to book at trip to the Madison Music Foundry to make that happen.

It’s cold, the house is quiet, and I’ve got some new music recommendations from my brother I’m drowning in. (Bat for Lashes and the dear SO also approves.) I’m super close to putting on a scarf and my voice is going, but I’m just shy of center. My creativity is exploding. My consulting techniques are improving, and my focus is getting sharper.

All in all, I have no complaints. Like I said last week, life takes a weird turn, and I turn to all my arts, because they give back to me. Just a lot on the agenda, including a class for basic macrame, and no time for sniffles or sneezing. Feh. But, there it goes. Sniffling. Sneezing. A shot of something or other in my coffee. (Okay, you got me. It’s whiskey.) But, the speakers are on maximum, my pitches are beginning to come to fruition, and there’s definitely more to be edited, written, polished, and consulted.

I’m actually drawing back on marketing-related updates to the website and will likely do that once a quarter. Right now, I’m more concerned with getting new stories and projects out the door. The best way to keep up on what’s happening, of course, will be here and Twitter. Facebook when I’m not annoyed with it. And yeah, I can get VERY annoyed with it. 🙂

Sigh. Twitter. I swear, for as much as I get out of it, every time I turn around there’s something else to be frustrated about. So…. change topic to Alexander McQueen: I WANT THIS! And, well… If I had to be honest… About half the jewelry on this page in particular — as many designs relate to skulls. Hee. Okay, pie in the proverbial sky? Isn’t this the most kick-ass riding jacket you’ve ever seen? LOVE.

Also, would like to point out Maybelline has some smashing nail colors for Spring. Very happy with their “Sapphire Siren” and “Go Go Green.” (Remember, cats and kittens… I always wear more than one at a time…)

Screw it. I’m dropping by Sephora sooner rather than later.

    Mood: Eyebrow raise. Pretty much been that way ALL day.
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: I gave up soda, so hit the ginseng yesterday. And then I broke down and had a soda. So, once again, trying to be good today. I have new coffee!
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: WHY IS IT SO COOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDDDD?
    In My Ears: “Milano” by Utopia
    Game Last Played: Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed
    Movie Last Viewed: Empire Strikes Back
    Latest Artistic Project: SHINIES. Still need to take pics…
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology

January Is So Two-Faced. (Or What The Heck Is Going On)

Fly Away E.T. Avatar

And 2013 starts off with a bang! Or three. Or four. Right after the holidays, I dove into my style of project management; I set up a few spreadsheets, goals, graphs, and other ephemera — and hit the ground running. As a result, there will be several announcements leading into late Spring/Summer. Some are related to my own work, some are connected to licensed properties, and a few are in line with my “day job” wheelhouse, consulting. It began as a healthy enough mix of spec and paid, and all boats were lifting, lifting, lifting until…

This week, my SO, Matt, took an unexpected trip to the ER in the middle of a blizzard. It’s his heart. More tests, more exams scheduled, etc. etc. etc. Possibly surgery. Yeah, that kind. We just don’t know yet. So, more waiting. Initial tests came back just fine, though, which is what we both expected. Right now, we’re erring on the side of caution and hope the cardiologist is spectacular.

Matt and I have been together for years; he is my family and he’s treated me like *gold.* I knew that he was a good guy when he told me, up and down, how much he hated musicals — but he showed up to my rock opera performance, anyway, to show his support. And, while he’s a very humble guy, he doesn’t talk about the charity work or any of the other amazing things he does to make the world a better place. He’s just not that way and I love him for it. In short: he’s my hero.

We’ve had our ups and downs, just like any other couple, but our troubles have always been relatively minor day-to-day stuff and pseudo mid-life crisis crap compared with everybody else. (He’s got a GREAT job and a very understanding boss.) This year, we were going to take that international vacation, wrap in a few work meetings with publishers, and start making some of our dreams come true. Mine, of course, is to make a decent enough living off of my creative works and consulting efforts so we can buy a house with a large garden. The future was already on our minds; milestone birthdays will do that to you.

It’s just… now I want our dreams, like our trip to England, to come true. I want to be that crazy American in a karaoke club singing Queen. (Though, admittedly, he may not be able to watch that part of the trip.) I want to find a Tardis, stand in front of Big Ben, grab a ridiculously tall glass of stout, and savor the best of English cuisine. And I want to do this with him.

I’ve always erred on the side of pragmatic, careful when I blog, because you never know who’s reading your updates. We’re both pretty private people and that allows us to have a life offline. However, I am a very passionate person and sometimes I am scared to tell you how much I love, love, love what I do and all the people in it. I’ve had a crazy-ass life — brilliant moments and horrifying lows — and I wouldn’t trade this for anything. But, at the same time, that passion (and the show of it) is very scary on the receiving end. (There’s a reason why folks say I’m a force of nature, after all.) It’s not socially appropriate to run down the street screaming at the top of your lungs, after all.

But why not? Seriously. WHY NOT? Half the time, I feel like I’m going to burst out of my skin. And, I can tell you, the more mortality you face, the more skin-bursting you’ll want to do.

Then, reality hits. And it’s a major downer. But I have no time to be down. None whatsoever. Maybe one day I’ll tell you the rest of this story, but I’m not ready to do that just yet.

So, now you know why you’re going to be seeing a lot more of me this year. I’m not just writing for Matt’s heart. I’m writing for mine, too. I just hope readers and gamers like you will follow.

Deep breath. Here we go…

    Mood: Optimistic
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Balanced. It’s a strange feeling.
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Um… Didn’t happen. Has to happen today.
    In My Ears: “Stronger Than Ever” by Christina Aguilera
    Game Last Played: Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed
    Movie Last Viewed: Empire Strikes Back
    Latest Artistic Project: SHINIES. Still need to take pics…
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology
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