I wasn’t sure I was going to do today’s check-in, because yesterday’s announcement and the fall out from that has been overwhelming. I feel everything, ranging from anger to utter shock to guilt, and in the midst of all that I still have to get work down. Unfortunately, that’s been slow at best.
For those of you who aren’t aware, Make Art Not War 2017 is a challenge I cooked up to kick off the new year. It was a way to help both me (and, hopefully you) retain a focus on art despite everything else that’s going on. That, unfortunately, has turned out to be harder than I thought when I have to perform emotional labor. There are days, like today, where I feel I can’t express all of my conflicting emotions. Part of that, is because as a professional I do perform emotional labor. The other bit, though, is that I don’t know how to describe it. I knew yesterday was bad, when I was at sushi therapy (my words for delicious sushi) and an elderly gentlemen walked toward me with his face lit up to tell me how beautiful I was. I didn’t feel beautiful. I just felt very small.
But then, as I was wandering off to a Pokestop, I remembered something. It was a powerful scene from the movie V for Vendetta based on Alan Moore’s work. I remember Valerie writing about the inch no one else can take, her story filled with hope, love, despair, and gut-wrenching tragedy. She says: “An inch… it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.”
I realized what Valerie’s inch is for me. That inch is the art I make for you and for myself, because no one can take that away. No one. All the worries about dying in obscurity or a lack of discovery pale in comparison to the horror, the terror that comes from not making art. I don’t know if I’ll be wildly successful, and I can’t plan for that. I can only plan for a possible future, and then adjust based on what actually happens. The way to get there, though, is to take an inch. Every, damn day. Every chance I get. One, beautiful inch at a time.
- Mood: I need a German word to describe it.
Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: 2
Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Walking!
In My Ears: A fan
Game Last Played: Pokemon GO
Book Last Read: Aurora by Kim Stanley Robinson
Movie/TV Show Last Viewed: Once Upon a Time
Latest Artistic Project: Make Art Not War 2017 Challenge and Rules
Latest Releases: In Volo’s Wake for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition and Unknown Armies Books 1-3. Read my end-of-the-year list of releases for an overview of what I’ve put out for 2016.
Current State of Projects: Read my latest project update. New project update coming this month!